Revolution networking sites

In the 21st century we do not conspire in dark smoky rooms tucked away in abandoned warehouses; we do so online from the safety of our sofas.

Personally, I prefer it this way. I’m not much of a people person. I like to hide behind my laptop; real human interaction makes me uneasy. I don’t even remember the last time I sat down and had a conversation with a friend that wasn’t over Facebook chat.

In Egypt, the government has a killswitch to turn off the Internet at any given moment.

Last week they took advantage of that tool to disorganize protestors who were using Facebook and Twitter. Yes, Facebook and Twitter are not only social networking websites, they are revolution networking websites.

I imagine the Revolution app for Facebook would look a lot like setting up an event. Begin by clicking on the button that says “+ Create a Revolution.”

On the first page it will ask a few questions to get the revolution organized.

When will your revolution begin? I’d like everyone to be there at 8 p.m., but I know most people won’t show up until 10 p.m.

A good in-between time is 9 p.m. Whoever shows up first will obviously be my true comrades. Does your revolution have an end time? I guess it shouldn’t end until we overthrow the government, but I don’t know when that will be. I’ll just put a question mark. We’ll figure it out later.

Why are you revolting?

Lots of reasons: rent’s too damn high, tuition’s too damn high and having an autocratic dictator for 30 years kind of blows too.

Where will the revolution be?

Would it be cliche to say “everywhere”? Probably, so let’s say it starts at my place, but we’ll go protest-hopping later.

Who is invited?

Everyone, I suppose.

Below these text boxes are a few check boxes:

Anyone can view and RSVP (Public Event). Yes, check.

Show the guest list on the revolution page. That might not be a good idea, especially if we all end up running from the law. Guess I’ll leave that unchecked.

Next you’ll probably need a picture for the revolution. My gut instinct would be to put Che Guevera’s face, but that’s played out. Instead a picture of a flaming bald eagle with the words “These colors don’t run” embodies freedom in a much cooler way.

Alright, the final step will be to click the “Create Revolution” button at the bottom.

Oh, and don’t forget to tweet it too.

I hope everyone shows up. I can’t wait, it’s totes gonna be a fun revolution. Maybe I’ll get a sweet profile pic out of it too.


E-mail: nicjacob@indiana.edu