Abstinence makes the heart grow stronger

I have no idea what I’ll say to you.

I mean, I know we haven’t seen each other in a while.

It’s been about five months. But this Christmas, when we reunite, I’ll certainly be at a loss for words.

Because I know all about you — about your ridiculous workload, your long nights at the library, your hilarious roommate and your professor who says the weirdest things. I saw your Halloween costume; you looked great. And yes, I agree that Taylor Swift sucked at the CMAs.

We’ve been friends for a while now, and I do feel the pressure to have some kind of grand reunion where we meet for dinner and catch up on all we’ve said and done since we’ve last seen each other.

But let’s face it; we both have Facebook and Twitter. There will be no secrets to share. No stories to tell. We’ve kept in touch 140 characters at a time.

This year, the U.S. Postal Service anticipates that Americans will send 200 million fewer holiday letters and greeting cards than they did last year.

And while some blame postage prices, and others cite the incredible amount of time and effort required to send such holiday cheer through snail mail, I blame social networking.

When it comes down to it, we just don’t have anything new to say.

It’s not that we’re sending e-cards instead. We seem to realize that forwarding a pre-written message adorned with animated elves dancing in the snow just isn’t that cool. We’re simply sending fewer holiday greetings in general.

To be sure, Christmas cards aren’t dead yet. The Greeting Card Association reports that 60 percent of all greeting cards printed each year are sold during the holiday season.

But if current trends are any indication, in a few years, these traditional holiday greetings could be a thing of the past.

It used to be that families would write an annual Christmas letter, updating friends and relatives on the past year’s events. Adorned in matching sweaters and seated in front of a fireplace, the annual family portrait would show who had gotten taller, who had lost weight and who had changed their hairstyle.

But with twitpics and Facebook albums, what’s the point? I saw your haircut the day you got it, and I hated it as much then as I do now.

I admit, just because I know the raw details of your life, doesn’t mean I totally understand all that’s happened since we’ve been apart. I don’t know your plans, your fears, your goals and emotions.

But I still know too much about you.

When it comes to Facebook, abstinence makes the heart grow fonder. A little self-restraint can make all the difference. Nothing’s more intriguing than someone who has a few secrets.

Maybe it’s time to keep some details of your life to yourself because some thoughts aren’t meant to be shared, and some stories are best told in person.


E-mail: tycherne@indiana.edu