An election once every other year

Breath in. Can you taste it? The leaves are changing colors and change is in the air. It’s my favorite time of the year. And no, I’m not talking about fall.

It’s election season, and I look forward to it every other November.  

Most people look at me like I’m crazy when I say this. They ask, how can you be so excited about the embarrassing spectacle in which our elected representatives engage? There’s hardly any dignity left in the election process, and it’s not like much changes even when there is a shift in power.

But I just shake my head at them. There’s no expecting a regal process out of elected officials in this apathetic age.

Respect, it’s sad to say, just doesn’t win a race anymore. A successful political campaign demands low budget commercials, televised debates and a social networking presence.

Thankfully, most politicians are about as skilled at marketing themselves as, say, Snookie from Jersey Shore.

And let me tell you, this midterm election has me shaking in my boots with excitement. With all these fresh faces breaking into the political scene, it’s a full time job just to keep up with the mass of public relations nightmares.

All these baby boomers stepping up to the plate to “take back their country” makes for some prime entertainment, I dare say.  

It’s true, the common people of this fine country are pinching their pennies and gritting their teeth to get through these hard times. Thank God the election season does not abide by this same austerity. Even with the national debt spiraling upward, there is nothing holding back the campaign dollars from flowing in.

This election season is on record to be the most expensive of all time. With a price tag of at least $3.7 billion, you all better be enjoying the spectacle as much as I am.

Otherwise, that’s a lot of money down the drain.

Congressional candidates understand one thing: You can’t get voted into office unless the public knows your name. Competition really does make for the best entertainment. 

And no one in America is doing a better job of capturing the media’s attention then good old masturbation-hating Christine O’Donnell.

With campaign commercials more hilarious then most comedy troops, I’ll be at a loss for entertainment when Chris Coons walks all over her in the midterm elections.

Good thing TLC has my back. The Learning Channel is already bringing everyone’s favorite ex-vice presidential candidate for an eight part miniseries aptly called “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.” I only have to wait until Nov. 14.

I can only hope O’Donnell is given the same treatment. I guess I should start drafting my letter to TLC now.

In the meantime, enjoy the campaign season. It only comes around every other year, after all.


E-mail: danfleis@indiana.edu