Wed-locked

There might as well have been an earthquake in the Golden State last week. It is not uncommon for the tectonic plates beneath California to shift, but nothing natural caused this stir.

A friend of mine living in notoriously gay West Hollywood called me on the day of the commotion, which was sparked by the striking down of Proposition 8, which banned same-sex marriage in the state.

He said it was like a riot. There were rainbow flags everywhere as people spilled out onto the streets to celebrate the victory.

I imagine that just down the 405 there lives a Mormon family in a cookie-cutter house with a big lawn. While the homosexual community of California raised their hands in triumph, this family bowed their heads in urgent prayer.

It is the epitome of controversy. With stakes this high, there is very little hope of compromise between two divided parties. And come judgment day, one side will be elated and the other devastated.

Federal Judge Vaughn Walker’s ruling that limiting marriage to heterosexual couples is unconstitutional did not end the battle.

There is a very long road ahead, and the GLBT community will continue to lock horns with the religious right over who deserves the right to say “I do.”

When it comes to marriage, the discussion of what it means to be in holy matrimony has come front and center.

So while traditionalists decry the legalization of same-sex marriage as a sign of the end times, maybe they should take a look at how matrimony is viewed by the secular community at large.

If Mormons, Catholics and their orthodox counterparts in other religions are concerned about preserving family life, they should consider running attack ads against middle-aged, single women.

Forty percent of births, after all, are to unwed mothers — and those mothers are raising children in nontraditional homes every day, waiting until they are ready (as opposed to waiting until they’re pregnant) to get married.

Then, of course, there is the rising popularity of not involving a religious figure in the wedding at all.

One in seven marriages is conducted by a friend who has gotten “instantly ordained” on the Internet, effectively wiping the wedding clean of any religious affiliation and ignoring the notion that this marriage is supposed to be for God’s eyes.

While tremors continue to rock the state, the initial shock of the Prop 8 ruling has begun to subside. Opponents of same-sex marriage claim this is only a road bump in their cosmic plan — after all, they have thousands of years of tradition on their side.

But if they were to raise their heads from prayer and look around the world for a just a moment, they might recognize that the norm for marriage is not what it used to be.

The concept of marriage is changing, and the secular community doesn’t need God to make a wedding stick. Besides, it’s still monogamy and love that keeps the family unit together — and that’s what really matters.


E-mail: danfleis@indiana.edu