A summer for everyone

My favorite summer movie, far and away, is “Dazed and Confused.”  Even now that I’m spending summers in Bloomington, nothing embodies the spirit of summer quite like seeing Mitch, Pink, Wooderson and Dawson driving around with a trunk full of beer, throwing bowling balls at mailboxes.

One of the movie’s best qualities is that it has a character for everyone. Who hasn’t watched it and tried to compare their group of friends to Lee High’s class of 1976? It’s like “Sex and the City” without the soulless, post-menopausal, Gucci-clad socialites.

When I try to describe summer, it’s impossible for me not to do so through the lens of this movie. So when breaking down summer in Bloomington, I couldn’t think of a better way to do it than “Dazed and Confused”-style. Here are the four types of Bloomington summers, each named after a character from the movie:

The Randall “Pink” Floyd

This is the classic first summer in Bloomington experience and the summer you should always be striving for. Pink’s not afraid to take full advantage of all the perks of summer, smoking a joint on the 50-yard line of his football field and blowing off his coach for an Aerosmith concert.
This is the summer attitude you want. The light schedule and fine weather mean you shouldn’t be afraid to prioritize lazy daytime good times over classes. Most of your professors are year-round residents, so you’ll notice a higher ratio of them at the bars. You should absolutely be fraternizing with them. Chances are they’re in summer mode, too.

The Slater

While everyone at Lee High School is getting wasted at the most epic party of the year, Slater is getting high on the hood of a car, debating the quality of George Washington’s pot crop. Is there any doubt that is exactly what he’d be doing on a Friday night, moon tower party or not? In the Slater summer, you just keep up what you were doing all semester — conditions just allow you to do it better. No traffic on 10th Street? Sweet, now I won’t be late for class when I sleep in. No one puts in as much effort for six-week classes? Cool, I wasn’t really trying anyway.

The Clint

At that epic moon tower party, Clint’s the tough guy in the flannel who’s here for two things: to kick some ass and drink some beer, and he’s almost out of beer. Just like Clint, this type of summer turns what should be a good time into strictly business. You’re just here to finish some classes and graduate, and your classes are almost over. Just like Clint, no one really wants to be around you, and if your mood keeps up, someone’s liable to try and fight you. If you absolutely must have a Clint summer, try to throw in a little Slater.

The O’Bannion

“What the hell is that guy doing here?”
All your friends left for summer jobs, trips, or internships, but you stayed behind to fit in a little more fun. Sure, there’s some perks to being here over your hometown (no parents to chide you for waking up at noon on a Wednesday, a lower risk of accidentally hitting on a high schooler at a party), but overall your attempt to force it leaves you feeling awkward and angry.