I know you are, but what am I?

A few weeks ago, Barack Obama’s Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel used a word that is derogatory toward mentally handicapped individuals to describe fellow Democrats.

Former Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin seemed to be the most offended by the whole ordeal, as she has a son with Down syndrome. Palin called for Emmanuel’s resignation.

I agree with Palin on whether or not the word should have been used because, hey, it shouldn’t have. However, we disagree on why. Frankly, I believe that Emanuel should have gotten even more childish when describing the Democrats.

People often ask me why it is that nothing ever gets solved in politics, and my answer is this: They are acting too much like adults. Children get stuff done. Why? Because they ridicule each other, that’s why.

Think back to the glorious days of elementary school, when recess was spent arguing about whether to play kickball or four square.

Back then there were no arguments about the logistical time it would take to set up either game versus the amount of total participation each sport allowed in the time given. Rather, someone would be called a “poopie face.”

Tears usually followed this primitive ordeal, but you chose which game to play, usually because Jimmy’s mother was rumored to be “so fat that people jogged around her.”

I am sick of hearing about the inability of Congress to get anything done because it spends all day arguing about “facts” on health care. I want one Senator to just stand up and forget this nonsense, instead proclaiming that his counterpart “smells like doo-doo.” Let’s see them try to filibuster that curveball.

Some people might get mad at me for this article and claim that the action taken by Emanuel shows the immaturity that American politics has sunk to. But come on, politicians are already immature little brats, evidenced by all of the complaints they make on a daily basis: “Oh, we can’t pass health care with a filibuster proof majority because we’re worried about being called socialists!”

I’ll address these pathetic cries for help with the words of my former football coach: “Put some mud on it, grow a pair, and get the %$#@ back out there!”

In retrospect, he probably wasn’t the greatest influence.

So, you keep your mediocre daytime ratings, C-SPAN, because until I hear that our political system has reached a point of such immaturity that we’ve taken to debating a bill based on “Yo Momma” jokes, I’m just going to keep watching MTV.


E-mail: henrgree@indiana.edu