What I have learned

As a sophomore with only one semester of experience in the newsroom at the Indiana Daily Student, I thought it would be interesting to look back over these past few months and find out what I have learned through my online comments so I can apply them to my future.

I have learned that my writing has come across as that of a “friggin’ moron.”

Now, it is important to keep myself in check with the world and not just my writer’s dreams, and for that reason I am happy to be educated about the quality of my writing.
I have learned that I am a “Leftist-facism apologist.”

By such a correlation I am able to see myself in the same light as Barack Hussein Obama, which is inspiring to me as a person even more than as a writer.  

I have learned that “Janeane Garofalo may not have legs as nice as Ann Coulter, but I bet she gives better hugs.”

The next time I am faced with a decision of whom to spend the night with, I will choose Janeane. Besides, Anne scares me.

I have learned that, sometimes, “it’s not good analysis, and if it’s an attempt at humor it’s not funny.” Hopefully this article does not fall into the same category. 

I have learned that I have the potential to concoct a “fascist conspiracy,” which is “absurdity on stilts.” This is a true testament to my “leftist-facism apologist” abilities, and I am grateful to be recognized for it.

I have learned that I am officially a member of “the smug intelligentsia of Bloomington academia.”

Such a title is worth more than a diploma; it is a code to live by, and I swear to it for life.