Script for a Tuscan Saturday

FLORENCE, Italy - Some things are just better when seen in a photograph.

And the city of Pisa, Italy, as well as its famous Leaning Tower, are included.

Pisa is only a one-hour train ride from Florence and costs merely €5.70, making it an inexpensive and seemingly perfect Saturday day trip. But frankly, once you’ve seen any small Tuscan city, it can safely be said that you’ve pretty much seen them all.

In fact, some of these quaint cities like Pisa are so similar I could write the same script for each visit.

“A Typical Saturday Day Trip to a Tuscan Town”

Scene opens with tourist sitting on train, staring wide-eyed out the window at the passing unblemished blue sky, greenery of the Tuscan hills and holding a small digital camera in their lap.

With each movement of the train past a field of dead sunflowers or row of meringue-colored villas with its residents’ unmentionables line drying out the windows, the tourist excitedly jumps up, fumbles for the camera, and snaps a picture.

Each click of the camera makes the old Italian man next to the tourist jerk in his sleep.

The tourist sees the [insert name of Tuscan city here] station sign through their camera lens as the train gradually screeches to a stop. The combination of the jolt of the train and the tourist’s excitement causes the tourist to accidently take another picture.      

Tourist: Walking and reading “Top 10 Tuscany” guidebook simultaneously.

First stop, the [insert name of Tuscan city’s main attraction here]!
Looks at white plastic watch, purchased from a Florentine street vendor for €7.00; it reads 15:37.

OK, just over three hours till I have to catch a train back to Florence.

The tourist begins a brisk pace towards the direction of the [insert name of Tuscan city’s main attraction here.]

They pass a McDonald’s, gift shop, bathroom and a row of vending machines before finally exiting the train station. The tourist embarks down a main street littered with signs pointing in various directions toward several tourist destinations.

As the tourist continues in the direction of the [insert name of Tuscan city’s main attraction here] sign, they pass countless restaurants, gelato shops and souvenir shops all more or less selling the same things.    

There it is!

Finally, the [insert name of Tuscan city’s main attraction here] is in sight so they start to walk a little faster and fumble with their camera.

 Dozens of street vendors are scattered around the [insert name of Tuscan city’s main attraction here] and the tourist sees one of them selling their watch for €5.  

I can’t believe that!

After basking in all the [insert name of Tuscan city’s main attraction here]’s glory and taking enough pictures of it to be able to stack them to the moon, including the very stereotypical ones such as, holding up the Leaning Tower.

The tourist walks around the vicinity of the main attraction and once they feel they’ve gotten a sense of the area, heads back.

They walk along the typical narrow, stone-paved Italian streets through the strolling crowd. All her excitement has made the tourist hungry, so she stops for an overpriced piece of margarita pizza and tops it of with a cone of lemon and strawberry gelato.

The tourist speaks in between licks of her gelato.

What a great day! My day-trip to [insert name of another Tuscan city] tomorrow should prove just as memorable.

The tourist’s sense of accomplishment coincides with the blowing of the train whistle.  

The End.

Take it from me, skip the trip and just Google it.