Beckulation

Glenn Beck assassinated JFK from the grassy knoll.*

*Note: Glenn Beck might or might not have committed this crime; however, the following notes weave a web of undeniable possibility.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not have been born nearly a year after this event.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not have a legitimate birth certificate to prove this date of birth. There is no way of knowing without a response from Glenn Beck.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not have responded with hostility to a phone call, so I have decided to let him contact me via e-mail. Do not forget that he is a potential killer.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not ever read this or shoot me (with an e-mail).

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not be as good of a shot as Dick Cheney, despite the unanswered rumors of him assassinating JFK.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not be Dick Cheney. Raving? White? Male? Connection?

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not create ludicrous connections such as these on a regular basis.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not comprehend the word “regular.”

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not be regular, even though his family has never been sick in their lives. There is no way of knowing without a response from Glenn Beck.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not be paying me to write this article as one of his regular publicity stunts.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not have assassinated JFK as a publicity stunt.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not like the fact that he was not arrested after the assassination.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not like the fact that there are 18 letters in twice the value of his name.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not possess the ability to divide eighteen by three leaving six. If you repeat this three times, you find the mark of the beast. Coincidence?

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not worship Satan and lobby for NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association) – both of which are excellent pastimes for a killer.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not see these as real connections between him and the JFK assassination; however, this does seem to be the type of web he weaves in connecting the unconnectable. It is unbelievable what one can correlate through tears and drama – words that sound scary, all of which seem to relate, none of which really make sense together. Cock, aim, fire.

Note: Glenn Beck might or might not have done any of the things listed or committed any of the crimes he is accused of online.

I’m just saying.