Nice guys finish last

Ever since the 1999 song “Nice Guys Finish Last” by Green Day, a pivotal issue was posed to our generation, and we can take it seriously because this is right before Green Day completely sold out. The question hangs in the head of every kind-hearted boy – must they really finish last?

I confronted some of my guy friends who for all practical purposes I consider nice. The conclusion was a clear consensus: Nice guys do finish last because, for some reason, girls want jerks. They enter the friend zone far too often. They get stepped over in the game of heterosexual love.  

At first it just seemed like an easy way out to me. We’ve all had situations of unrequited love; we’ve all experienced heartache, and basically unless you’re already married, every other relationship you’ve had has been an unsuccessful one. It’s easy to blame poor luck on the cynical phrase, “Nice guys finish last.”

But I’ve got to admit, there is something to it. I’ve seen firsthand a lot of friends who ignore the nice guys in their life in order to date someone who is a huge jerk.  

The word jerk here is a loose term of course; I could think of many more words not fit for IDS pages. But I don’t believe that girls are really looking for someone to treat them poorly. So the question remains, why does this happen?  

Are nice guys supposed to start acting like butts? Are girls just intrinsically attracted to the scum of the planet?

I think we have to stray away from the blame of either gender here. After careful consideration of the issue, I think part of the answer lies in the approach of the nice guy. Girls do want a nice guy. But oftentimes nice guys, in order to show their good qualities, will be completely kind and sweet to a girl, but completely shut off their sexuality.  

They don’t want to offend girls and want to show girls that they’re not just after sex.

But by eliminating all these signs, the impression they give is a desire-less one. It can be confusing as to whether or not the guy really wants to pursue anything with that girl at all.  

And that’s when the friend zone comes in.

If you are a nice guy, you don’t have to be crude in your approach, but it’s important to give hints that you are still attracted to a girl you are pursuing. Confidence, to both sexes, is attractive. Believe me, girls would rather have a nice guy let her know in a respectful and sweet manner that he likes her, rather than the drunk jerk at the bar who grabs your behind and asks you in drunk-English, “Want to go back to my place?”  

Girls want the nice guy, and if he treats her well and shows that he’s interested, then the nice guy really can finish first.