A spoonful of sugar

Last week I was one of six columnists who contributed to a special section on current gender relations. As anticipated, I received some angry letters and verbal complaints about a statement I made saying that the government is not currently oppressing women.

I was happy for the responses, not because I necessarily agreed with them, but because they meant someone actually read my column.

Though a broad statement, I still stand by the idea that there are no laws in place keeping women down. One of my points in last week’s piece – and what I’ll be elaborating on today – is that passing a law doesn’t necessarily mean universal acceptance of that idea. If that were true, we’d have no problem with illegal immigration.

If I’ve learned anything about convincing others, it’s that you cannot force anything, as that will only make detractors more resistant to it. When my parents tried force-feeding me disgusting vegetables as a child, I shut my mouth tighter than Fort Knox.

It wasn’t until my parents decided to leave the brussel sprouts strategically placed next to the macaroni that I became interested. “What is this foreign object on my plate?” I would inquire, prodding them for signs of life. “Those are good for you, try them.”

“I want no such thing!” I’d exclaim as I pushed them to the farthest side of the plate. Instead of withholding dinner or pushing them on me, my parents succeeded by leaving them be. By giving me that choice, I suddenly wondered what I was missing out on. What were my parents keeping from me?

I eventually took a cautious bite. Realizing that they were brussel sprouts that tasted like evil, I swallowed painfully and vowed to never eat them again. While not a complete success, that strategy at least helped convince me to open my mind to new ideas. Taking that long analogy, civil rights are not going to be fixed by pushing the tasty lima beans of tolerance into grown-ups acting like children.

This applies to concepts like discrimination in the workplace. Women are paid less than men on average, but there are so many variables that go into a normal salary, such as seniority, negotiations on contracts, bonuses and specific job titles that we could not enforce any equality. If employers want to be prejudiced, then the only thing that can stop them completely is their acceptance of new social statuses, not legislation.

Reproductive rights is the only area  I could see the argument on government interference, but you should only think that if you’re pro-choice. The argument with abortion rights and the idea that a womb should be controlled by its owner can find its main opponent in the religious right. In Indiana, abortion is legal, and there is nothing stopping a woman here from getting her egg scrambled. If the Republicans ever manage to outlaw this – something I don’t see happening – then let’s have this discussion again.