Celebrity election

I always knew that celebrities’ choices for political candidates sway the vote. It’s simple, really: They’ve got the money and the influence. But lately, celebrity endorsement has gone too far. \nNo offense to Kal Penn or Dave Matthews, but unless the 2008 Democratic candidates, specifically Sen. Barack Obama, want to be taken as seriously as I take White Castle and inane jam bands, I suggest they get more exclusive about what celebrities they are allowing to campaign on their behalf. The support of Oprah is ideal: she’s loaded, classy and has mad commercial appeal. Obama really should be giving her foot massages when Stedman’s not around. \nObama should be shunning Will.i.am’s support, though. The musician encourages Fergie to misspell simple words like “tasty” in her song “Fergalicious.” Now, how is that supposed to make me feel about your education plan, Barack? \nTracy Morgan is a great contrast to Oprah. Sure, he’s a bit nutty, but he speaks to the people. And you can’t go any better than a phrase like “black is the new president,” as he exclaimed when he openly and hilariously counteracted Tina Fey’s “bitch is the new black” statement on “Saturday Night Live”’s “Weekend Update.”\n Then for Sen. Hillary Clinton, the ideal supporter is Jack Nicholson. The self-proclaimed loyal Clintonista rarely even does interviews, but he decided to for the Clinton campaign in early March. Not only did he release a rather kitschy video endorsement, but he also explained to the folks at MTV, why he is backing her up. \nLet’s face it: if you’re a loyal Clinton supporter and a hardcore feminist, the support of Carol Kane or any other fellow feminist isn’t going to sway your vote. Unless, that is, a fellow feminist is supporting Obama. \nAn endorsement from someone like Reese Witherspoon, who has yet to pick a candidate, could show some real leverage. In January, SlateV.com released a humorous yet accurate comparison of high school student body president candidate Tracy Flick, played by Witherspoon in the film “Election,” with Clinton. Flick also dealt with opposition from a more personable opponent with less experience: her school’s beloved jock, played by Chris Klein. Like Hillary, Flick didn’t seem to have many friends because she was too busy planning world domination. Witherspoon also starred in “Legally Blonde,” a film that captures the essence of blonde ambition and empowerment. So while she has a great mainstream audience, she’s also a respected Academy Award-winning actress. Additionally, one of her ancestors, John Witherspoon, signed the Declaration of Independence for crying out loud! \nIf only the Obama and Clinton campaigns targeted both popular and respected candidates, the American public would respond. I’m sure it can be hard to pass up on endorsement from popular figures, though. \nHowever, every IU student knows that it’s natural to want the acceptance of a celebrity who bats his or her eyelashes at you and subsequently wants to give you cash and glory. But like the voters themselves, presidential candidates should possess the utmost caution and reverence in their decision-making.