Asia minor

Asia is back with all four original band members!

Who? You know: Asia!

Not the guys who play “Don’t Stop Believin’”! That’s Journey. No, these are the guys behind “Heat Of The Moment.” You know: “Do you reMEMber whennn we USED to-dance? / And inciDENCE arose from CIR-cum-stance / One thing led to an-OTHER, WE-were-young / And we would scream to-GETHER, SONGS unsung! / It was the heeeat of the mo-ment ... ” Yeah, you know who I’m talking about.

Well, not only is Asia back – they apparently never quite went away. Various permutations involving about two-dozen different musicians have been cranking out stadium-friendly progressive rock since the founding members’ first split in 1983.

In 2006, the original lineup launched a reunion tour to celebrate (read: “cash in on”) the band’s 25th anniversary. As there was already an Asia touring, this has led to a world with two Asias: “Asia” (with the initial four) and “Asia Featuring John Payne” (made up of later members, including replacement front man Payne).

Thus, Phoenix is the new studio album by the Asia without qualifiers – and, to both its credit and detriment, Phoenix sounds like it has been locked in a hermetically-sealed canister since Reagan proposed “Star Wars.”

On the plus side, this means that the album is everything an Asia fan could ask for. The band has lost none of their musicianship; the songs are meticulously, skillfully arranged. Asia maintains their balance between arty bombast and pop hooks, and there are no embarrassing attempts to “modernize” the band’s sound.

On the minus side, this means Phoenix has little to offer anyone else. Asia are just as dull as they were 25 years ago – with broad, cliched lyrics, glossy overproduction and plodding songs that sound like they were written by the Insta-Chart 3000 automated pop-hit generator. Asia’s output is called “progressive rock,” but they have never been terribly progressive (in the sense of advancing popular music), and only sometimes rock. Time has only made these problems worse.

But if you’re currently screaming “No way man, Asia rules!” – you’ll love this album. Just don’t expect the rest of us to.