Remember the "W"

For a while I actually forgot about everyone’s favorite whipping boy. I got so caught up in the campaigns of Sens. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama and all the fun they bring that I forgot we had a president. I forgot that everyone’s favorite cowboy, President George W. Bush, or, as I often like to call him, “W,” still resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. \nI don’t know how I could forget such a guy. He’s been the leader of the free world for eight years now. He’s the “decider,” the “compassionate conservative” and perhaps the greatest orator we have ever had. Then I realized that not only I but maybe the rest of the country has forgotten about this guy, too.\nA recently released poll revealed that Bush’s approval ratings are now at 31 percent. Let me repeat that. Only 31 percent of the country approves of Bush’s work in the White House. This means roughly 70 percent of the country thinks he is doing a lousy job or that they just forgot he is still in office. This is March, and with the basketball tournament going on, maybe putting it in sports terms would make it clearer. Let’s say your favorite sports team only won 31 percent of its games. Would you be happy with its performance? Then again, what the American people think doesn’t matter, right?\nI believe most Americans are just flat-out stupid. If you disagree with me, then you probably fit into the stupid category. But here’s what I have to say to that: Considering the stupidity of most Americans, it is very likely that people just forgot about “W.” I mean, with so many people today being diagnosed with attention-deficit disorder, it is possible that he has just slipped people’s mind. Or maybe you were distracted by the “Obama girl” or the pure hotness of Hillary. So, in honor of Bush’s “great” approval ratings and great presidency, and to remind others that he’s still in office, I bring you three top Bush quotes to show off his great oratory skills.\n1. When referring to his 2000 presidential campaign, he said, “If you’re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come join this campaign.” Because, you know, principles are trivial and unimportant. So are polls that tell us how the people feel about what’s going on. They focus on the important stuff.\n2. “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.” Yeah, and to that I say, it’s clearly a newspaper, it has a lot of words in it – or is it a book? A magazine? A flyer? Aww crap, I’m confused. I wish I could think as clearly as our president.\n3. This shows the complex nature of “W”: “I have opinions of my own – strong opinions ... but I don’t always agree with them.” \nThat’s deep, people. If you have any other great quotes, please e-mail them to me. I can use the entertainment.