Fantasy endorsements

As the race for the White House has heated up over the past month, celebrities continue to place their allegiances with various candidates. Almost every day, someone famous runs his or her mouth about who should be the next president. \nSometimes their opinions on politics is recognized as worthwhile (Oprah supporting Democrat Barack Obama), while other allegiances seem utterly futile (WWE superstar Ric Flair vouching for Republican Mike Huckabee). And while the effect of celebrity endorsements cannot be fully analyzed properly, the recent flare of them has me thinking. \nWhich candidates would our favorite television characters support?\nSure, TV characters are fictional, so determining whom they would support seems inane, but if the endorsement of a washed-up professional wrestler can find its way into newspapers, anything is possible. The following are the endorsements by popular characters. \nJack Bauersupports Fred Thompson. Bauer, “24” frontman, has spent many years as a part of various branches of the military and the Counter Terrorist Unit. His work requires him to use any type of interrogation techniques necessary to acquire information sensitive to the safety of the country. Of course, Jack has decided to back former Senator Thompson due to his support of different types of torture, including waterboarding, as means to extract information. \nVincent Chase from “Entourage”supports Barack Obama. In his starring role in “Aquaman,” Chase plays an avid user of marijuana who considers the legalization of it in some form as an issue dear to his heart. Obama’s openness to the legalization of medical marijuana and admittance of past use is right on par with Vince.\nBenjamin Linus endorses Hillary Clinton. Linus from “Lost” hates anyone new coming to his island and even attempts murder to keep it safe. However, he has allowed strangers to live there on occasion, flip-flopping his position when it is to his advantage. Of course, he relates to Clinton, who also has had mixed views on immigration reform.\nDwight K. Schrute endorses Ron Paul. This character from “The Office” completely despises any form of health care, and when put in charge of picking a new health care plan for his co-workers, Schrute gave them the worst plan imaginable because he believes getting sick is a sign of weakness. He claims he hasn’t been sick for years. As the race has progressed, all candidates have talked about new health care, but Paul disagrees with both universal and socialized plans. This makes him the candidate closest to Schrute’s heart. \nStringer Bell supports John Edwards. Edwards’ campaign centers on helping out the working man while supporting college for everyone, no matter their background. This sounds great to Bell, who has struggled with balancing his day job (running a drug circuit) with his academics (night business school) on HBO’s “The Wire.” He’s simply trying to educate himself to improve his business, and Edwards is the man to further Bell’s dreams. \nEveryone has an opinion on this election, fictional or not. Maybe some of these endorsements will put a candidate over the top. If not, we’ll all be waiting to see who Macho Man Randy Savage supports based on their willingness to snap into a Slim Jim.