Happy hating

I love to rant. But as is often the case, there are many things I want to say that don’t really warrant expression in a column.\nSo, I would like to present to you four things that really piss me off. \nFirst, if one more bike rider cuts me off, I am personally buying a wrench to throw into the wheel spokes. I go to school on a campus of pedestrians, and I shouldn’t have to be ever-vigilant, scanning the horizon for obnoxious speed demons. If you have ever been clipped by a biker you know what I mean.\nI understand the merits of riding your bike when you live a significant distance from campus, but go ahead and chain your bike up on the edge of campus and walk the additional three minutes. You would be amazed at the beauty of our campus.\nNext on my list is when people preface a question by literally saying, “Question.” Are you Dwight from “The Office”? No, okay, then stop talking like him. When I insult you I don’t preface it by saying “Insult.” Where’s the fun in that?\nGo ahead and just say, “Hey can I ask you a question?” It’s polite, and aside from the paradox of asking a question to ask if you can ask a question, it’s what normal people do.\nMy personal favorite is the studious library patron who decides he or she is important enough to sprawl out over an entire section in the first floor group-study computer area. These people get away with it because it’s not such an egregious offense that I’m going to go over and hassle them about it. That and the instrumental techno beats resonating from their headphones and the glazed-over look induced by sixty milligrams of Adderall tells me it’s a battle not worth fighting.\nThis brings me to my business major friends in I-Core and how they make me hate them. I applaud their efforts because, from what I understand, it makes for a very difficult semester. But misery loves company, and if you ever check your news feed on Facebook an obnoxious trend quickly emerges. They all talk amongst each other about how much it all sucks and how awesome it will be to get drunk on their first arbitrary free day. When you’re doing something, I don’t care how awful it is, if you’re all in the same boat it’s never that bad. So please, stop complaining, no one twisted your arm and made you do it.\nWow, I’m glad I got that off my chest, and I really don’t care if you agree. If there is anything you get out of this column it should be that we all have things we hate, and mine aren’t any more valid than yours. So do yourself a favor by digging deep into your repressed memory and finding the perfect thing you can hate on. Good luck and happy hating.