Byte the power

Computers are a fad.” This is and always has been the mantra of one of my esteemed professors. The first time I heard him say it, I thought to myself, “Wow, this guy is on to something!” And I knew he had to be right, too – he does, after all, have a Ph.D., which, as we all know, makes a person infallible.\nBut recognizing the sheer evilness of computers does not, by any stretch of the imagination, require a university degree. You’ve all been there: It’s 2 a.m., and you have a paper due at 8. You triumphantly type in your last sentence, and on the verge of pressing the “print” button, all of the sudden, the screen goes black. Yikes.\nOr you order yourself the latest edition of Guitar Hero off of Amazon.com. Everything seems fine - that is, until you receive your credit card statement in the mail at the end of the month and you realize that the system charged you seven times for the same purchase. \nObviously, computers have done us more harm than good. \nSo what are we to do about this sinister gizmo that has virtually taken over our lives? To answer this question, I offer you a short history lesson. During the Industrial Revolution in Europe, as mechanized labor began to put manual laborers out of work, it was not uncommon for people to feel threatened by the advent of Big Industry. So what did they do? Well, for a certain radical group known as the Luddites, the answer was clear – it roamed from factory to factory, destroying the textile machinery that it felt endangered workers’ livelihoods. \nWhile I by no means advocate going out and smashing a Mac every time Oncourse is down – and given Oncourse’s record so far this semester, that would entail a whole lot of smashing – I’ll admit that I’m often tempted to take a sledgehammer to my computer every time I open an Excel spreadsheet.\nStill, I guess there are different kinds of computer technologies and services that are nice to have around, like Facebook and www.weather.com. Heaven forbid I actually step outside and check the weather myself! And though they aren’t necessities, we could probably also keep idsnews.com simply because of its sheer awesomeness, and we might consider permitting the continued existence of the computers that are used in research hospitals where folks look for cures for cancer and the like. We might also want to authorize the use of some sort of databasing capabilities so that our entire stock market doesn’t crash - as much fun as I hear it was the first time that happened. Come to think of it, I’d like to also temporarily allow use of Microsoft Word as well, at least until I finish writing this column. \nBut seriously, guys, like my professor says, all this wired nano-giga-whatever mess is completely unnecessary. \nSo don’t be fooled. Byte the power, because computers are just a fad.