iDrunk

The other day I stumbled upon an article I had read a couple of months ago. A company had released a Breathalyzer-FM transmitter combo for the iPod. Now, I’ve heard of some pretty sweet accessories for my favorite music player, but this one takes the cake.\nThe idea is pretty simple. After blowing in the tube that attaches on the bottom, your blood alcohol level shows up on the screen of the iPod. The only problem is I think there are some crucial features that this device has yet to tap into.\nFirst of all, I think these developers need to take a page from the makers of the Nike + iPod deal. No doubt you’ve seen that with the proper equipment, runners can keep track of how far they’ve run and how fast they were going after uploading the information stored on the iPod onto their computer.\nWhat I’m picturing for the Breathalyzer is a similar uploading of information about blood alcohol level and times. Then, your computer could make a nice little line graph to chart just how drunk you were and how quickly you got there. Then, just like the Nike + iPod, users could upload their charts online and compete to see who got hammered the fastest.\nAnother feature that I think this Breathalyzer needs to incorporate is specialized playlists. Depending on how drunk you are, the iPod would choose to play a certain set of songs that would fit your mood (or rather, inebriation level).\nFor example, the early playlists could have the typical dance-party songs on it. As the night progressed, a bunch of classic, embarrassing karaoke songs, such as anything by REO Speedwagon, could come on. Finally, the later playlists could be filled with bad, deeply emotional songs that only seem to live on through alcoholic reminisces of the last song of your prom. I’m of course thinking of Eve 6’s “Here’s to the Night.”\nNow, of course, these devices would have to be handled with care. If it fell into the wrong hands it could mean trouble. I mean, it might be hard to explain to your girlfriend why you were hammered last night when you were too busy “studying” to hang out with her. But these are the dangers we have to live with in this new technological age.\nThe final suggestion I have for the future developers of similar iPod Breathalyzer products would be an optional shut-off point. You know when you’re at a party and that obnoxious drunk guy grabs the iPod and decides that he’s going to play DJ for the night?\nWell, this feature would require the user to blow into the tube before selecting a song. You then could choose the point at which the iPod no longer accepts the drunkard’s song selection.\nNot only would this solve a lot of problems, but it could also help protect the safety of the drunks as well as the well-being of his or her loved ones.