Dear Michael McRobbie,\nSo, you’re going to be the 18th President of IU … Congratulations! I’ll bet that you’ll do a fine job managing the University, dealing with faculty issues, overseeing research, yada yada yada...\nBut I thought you might like a little expert opinion (I have extensive knowledge from watching TV) on how to handle the respectable athletics department at IU. While your management skills might be far more developed than mine, as a student and IU sports fan I thought I may be able to give some insight into the important issues (silly me).\nEver since the beginning of time (Coach Terry Hoeppner’s hiring in 2004) the IU athletics department has been dealing with debt to the tune of about $5 million. Word on the street is that you have a shiny new expense account from the University that makes you worth $10 million over the next two years. It might be tempting to throw some of that money toward the athletics debt. \nThough I’m sure that I’ll receive a few death threats from the most die-hard IU athletics fans, I feel compelled to advise not concentrating too much additional funding on athletics. Turn your head toward academics. The IU athletics department just received funding for a $55 million facilities renovation. It can survive for a little while.\nBut that doesn’t mean that from the president’s position, oversight of a well-oiled athletics department and continued advocating of student-fan benefits shouldn’t be priority. High on the list of programs that should be continued is free entry into Olympic athletic sports with a student I.D. Also, attendance and discussion during Kelvin Sampson’s meeting with Athletics Director Rick Greenspan concerning student seating at home basketball games would carry a lot of weight, building both reputation and image with students.\nIUSA’s student seating rewards plan, while in its fledgling stages, has the potential to become a major benefit for Hoosier sports fans. Working with the main representation of undergraduates toward a good end is a great way to increase presidential campus exposure.\nI’d also like you to look into ordering Nike Twill jerseys. They’re pretty sweet and together, you and I could get our athletes the best garb available. We can discuss this anytime. I’m free Tuesday. How’s that for you?\nBut the most pressing matter that might be dealt with by the president in regards to athletics will both build school moral and University exposure: the creation of a mascot. \nA tiger … a piece of limestone … a giant three-toed sloth … whatever. Just some guy in a big jump suit at athletics events, please. I hear Chief Illiniwek from Illinois just recently stopped by the unemployment office. Maybe you could make an executive smoke signal to Champaign, Ill. and land us a dancing Native American.\nAs you can see, there is a wide array of athletics issues to deal with as the president of IU. My advice seems sound enough. I give you permission to adopt my policy outline verbatim. Or take a shot yourself.
Sincerely,\nA Hoosier at Heart
P.S. Any chance you could get Bobby Knight to start talking to us again? Robert Montgomery Knight Center does have a nice ring to it.
