So last century

Communication? On this large, University campus? Don't be ridiculous. Socializing is as last century as Britney's good-girl image and the Oregon Trail.\nIt is morning and I begin the long trek to class as my iPod blasts hip-hop chart-toppers deep into my cochleas to tune out the annoying hums of nature. I pass by a mass of students along my journey, as plentiful and anonymous as a herd of wild buffalo. My heart races at the sight of your face coming toward me from amidst the crowd. As my acquaintance, you are my greatest barrier. \nI turn up my music and avert my eyes as we pass. Please do not try to go about this any differently. If I wanted to talk to you, I would either sign your Facebook wall to obliterate any suggestion of intimacy or spend 10 minutes sending a text message that would take less than 10 seconds to say in person or over the phone. Because time, however precious, is a commodity I am willing to sacrifice for the sake of avoiding the intimidating experience of an unnecessary exchange of voices.\nI arrive at class and search for an empty row. If none are empty, I will enter the row where you are sitting and sit down two desks away from you, leaving the obligatory seat vacant between us. Notice that my earphones will stay buried inside of my ears until the very moment class begins and will be immediately reinstated upon the first indication of class dismissal. I am not here to make friends. If I wanted to socialize, I would go to a party and become completely inebriated. I am way too inhibited to talk to you when I am sober and I have a strong preference for conversations that come with the safety net of not being remembered the next day. So please do not try to ask me about my hometown or my major. This is not high school. We do not need to pretend to like each other. I am here only to take notes.\nI walk back home after class with my cell phone glued to my ear, loudly engaged in a conversation with someone who may or may not be on the other end of the line. This way, you will not attempt to subject me to the awkwardness of small talk and all else that goes along with the messiness of interacting. Why embarrass ourselves? You are merely an obstacle slowing me down on my way back to my computer and videogames.\nWhen I get home I sign onto my Instant Messenger. I immediately put up my away message so there is no indication that I am here to chat. All I want is to sit in peace and read everyone else's away message without being bothered by someone wanting to know what is up with me.\nNext time you see me, please remember not to say "Hello." Even if I wanted to, I couldn't talk to you. My voice is atrophied from disuse.