Making a racket

This week, I've found myself starring angrily at the chalkboard more than a few times. No, it's not the cold weather. And no, it's not a difficult concept.\nIt's two racquetball rackets hanging up in my apartment taunting me.\nIt began innocently enough with a blank spot on the wall. A couple thumbtacks later and we were proudly displaying our sports equipment like hard earned trophies. You see, we decided at the beginning of the semester to play a weekly game of racquetball in the name of fitness and friendly competition. Little did I know the agony I was in for.\nWhile hanging the rackets up, I decided mine should go on top. I mean, the plastic frame circa 1970, with the word "Lazer" printed on it is obviously way cooler than my roommate Seth's modern titanium Wilson racket. So clearly mine should be the most prominent. \nSeth immediately asked me why his racket had to be on the bottom.\nNot wanting to let him know how I really felt about his white and red abomination of a racket, I quickly told him that I hadn't given it much thought, but he saw through my scheme. He suggested that maybe the winner of each week's game should be allowed to display his racket on top, as a visible sign of the athletic dominance and superior ability of the victor (OK, he didn't say it quite like that, but he was thinking it).\nI knew at that moment that he had me. Seth had somehow luckily squeaked out a victory that week. As I hesitantly switched the rackets, I couldn't help but picture the glorious day when the Lazer would take its rightful place again at the top of the wall.\nI am sad and ashamed to say that dream has not yet been realized.\nIn my defense, Seth is 9 feet tall with a wingspan that reaches nearly wall to wall. (OK, so he's really only 6 feet 5 inches tall, but let's be honest, I'm not the tallest guy ever). Also, Seth has taken the HPER racquetball class. \nMy racquetball education was a little less formal.\nOne day my dad decided to teach me how to play this great game. He took me to hit the ball around, thinking it would be a good bonding experience. Let's just say the only bonding that occurred was between that damn little blue ball and my nose. His first shot got me right between the eyes. I guess I didn't quite understand I was supposed to return the ball with the face of the racquet and not my actual face.\nNeedless to say, ever since that first "lesson" I've been a big fan of wearing those sweet-looking goggles.\nAnyway, I've caught myself daydreaming in class a few times, imaging ways to finally defeat Seth. So far my best plans involve either greasing the bottom of his tennis shoes or his racket's handle. Either way, victory will soon be mine.\nNow wait, what was that homework assignment?