The star in you

Whether you idolize or ignore celebrities, it's hard to deny their impact on society. They determine everything from fashion trends to charity donations. Celebrities are held on a huge pedestal, and they are constantly being emulated. Females go through countless hours and dollars trying to look like the next "it" girl, but it's hard to have lips like Angelina Jolie's and hips like Shakira's. \nThis leads me to believe that modern women have serious self-esteem issues. \nSo instead of running on that treadmill or blogging your blues away, I would like to propose visiting www.myheritage.com. Just submit your snapshot and find out which celebrity you most resemble. Ladies, I strongly urge you to submit a good one because there's nothing more discouraging than a possible match-up with Courtney Love's mug shot.\nThis Web site can truly give that special kick in anyone's self-esteem. Once I got my results, I recognized that Kirsten Dunst and I look very much alike, especially since we both clearly possess a perfect bone structure. I realized that if she played Marie Antoinette, there's no reason I couldn't have.\nSo rather than waste my talent, I've decided to quit school and pursue an acting career. I'm running out of winter sweaters anyway, and it'll be much warmer in Los Angeles. If I do enough catwalks on Rodeo, I'm bound to immediately be discovered by an agent. My days will consist of schmoozing with my fellow young Hollywood actors: wild parties on the beach, romantic dates with Adam Brody and shopping with Rachel Bilson. Then my Gucci shoes will get destroyed in the sand, and I'll find my Adam cheating on me...with my new BFF Rachel! After I proceed to kick her ass at my newest movie premiere, I will be featured on the new "Celebrity Justice" for my violent acts. Due to being heartbroken and reaching my credit card limit, I'll go into a deep depression that leads to booze and pills. Then I'll truly hit rock bottom and enter the world of "Celebreality." I'll be cast on the newest VH1 reality show. Although the network will reject my idea for "Flavor of Stefania," they'll land me a spot on a program in which I'll be on a banana boat for 16 months with Scary Spice, Dustin Diamond and some skinny ho from America's Next Top Model ...\n... Then I woke up from my celebrity nightmare.\nWhile celebrities are important to our culture, www.myheritage.com proves they aren't that different from us normal folks. Celebrities might look better in the spotlight, but they're nothing without the airbrush, botox and curvature. So instead of trying to look like a famous nobody, you should just try being yourself. \nAs much as I'd love starring in a Sofia Coppola film or being with one of my famous crushes, I'd rather watch a Coppola movie and admire my crushes from afar. I've seen many a "E! True Hollywood Story," and they're just not pretty. I would probably pull a Bjork on the paparazzi anyway.