I, hooligan

I've never been a soccer fan.\nBut, while flipping through the channels during lunch one afternoon, I came upon Germany vs. Argentina -- and curiosity took over. The camera pulled back, and I could see the stadium filled with the crazed fans, draped in flags and ready to trample any number of people in order to show their ultimate and undying support. \nSeventy-two thousand crazed fans must be on to something. So, I decided that I'd to sit down and make myself watch the game -- even if I ended up dozing off or reading a book to pass the time between scoring opportunities. \nI wasn't very into the first half because, in my opinion, nothing happened. Back and forth the sweaty players ran in their blue and white jerseys -- nobody actually coming close to scoring a goal, and playing to no apparent strategy. The fans, however, were still going crazy -- cheering, apparently, because nothing much had happened. \nI was ready to move on and play some Halo -- but, I figured I'd give the World Cup one more chance. I'm happy to say that in the second half I got into it, and finally figured what it's all about. \nThe World Cup isn't really about soccer at all. It's about the literally hundreds of years of drama that are built up between nations -- all focused through a game. Most everyone in the stadium knew that the German coach was on a team that beat Argentina in 1990. Soccer fans are profoundly intelligent -- because they're not just there for the game, they are there to watch the whole drama within the storyline unfold. \nIt's also important to note that the World Cup happens every four years, with qualification lasting well over two years -- pulling players from different clubs, and dividing teammates against each other as part of an overall worldwide pride contest. Thus, making the World Cup more of an ongoing international soccer conflict than a \ntournament. \nIn a word, the World Cup is epic. It really has to be in order to pull in more viewers than the Olympics.\nI got a taste of that craze during the second half of my game. Argentina scored, but were getting homered by the German refs who kept calling stupid fouls. Then the Argentinean goalie got kicked in the side and went down crying like a little girl, and they took him off in a stretcher. Germany came back and ended up scoring, and then nothing happened through the rest of the game. Then nothing happened during overtime.\nBut I learned something about soccer: When nothing happens, nothing happens with tension. \nEventually the game came down to goal kicks -- and the evil Aryan German goalie caught two of the weak Argentinean kicks, and it was all over. I was livid, swearing at the TV and pondering all the bad things I could do to the German team.\nAnd, for the first time, I understood the world's obsession.