Third time not the charm

Hooray for mediocrity! Let's face it, that is about all one could possibly expect from "Mission: Impossible III." In the end, that is exactly what this movie does, it lives up to your expectations. There are lots of guns and explosions and ridiculously complicated plans for heists, including one hilarious scene where the main character saves the day through the heroic use of algebra.\nThe plot for "M:i:III" is as predictable as can be, which actually has its upside since you can sleep through all of the boring parts and not lose track of the story. Ethan Hunt (Tom "I have lost my damn mind" Cruise) has retired and now restricts his talents to training other agents. When his first student is captured by evil super villain, Owen Davien (Phillip Seymour Hoffman), he is called back to active duty to try and save her life. But when Davien captures Hunt's newlywed bride (Michelle Monaghan), Hunt has to gather his team of super agents to trot the globe and try to get her back. How on Earth it took three writers to come up with this script I have no idea, but whichever one was \nin charge of dialog should probably be fired.\nAlthough the script is piss poor, that is not really that big of a deal for an action movie. Half the people aren't even paying attention to the plot anyway. Honestly the biggest problem with this movie is the presence of Tom Cruise. It has become practically impossible to separate his on-screen characters from his off-screen antics. The entire time he was speaking I just kept thinking about the time he jumped on Oprah's couch, or his recent claim that after his wife gave birth he was going to eat the placenta. Let me tell you, nothing ruins an action movie like imagining the main character eating a placenta.\nOf course the visual effects were great, but who cares. It is 2006; we are too accustomed to visual effects to be wowed by them any more. Frankly, the last time I enjoyed a bad movie because of the digital effects was "Star Wars: Episode I." Still I guess there will always be a place in America's heart for big explosions and ridiculously crafted gunfights.\nOverall, "Mission: Impossible III" is exactly as good as one could reasonably expect it to be. It is a pointless action flick with lots of shooting and blowing stuff up. Completely mindless but, in all honesty, that is what the audience wants sometimes, mindless fiery action.