Ultra absurdity

"Ultraviolet" begins with a comic book sequence attempting to establish the female lead as a comic book character. The only problem is that "Ultraviolet" was never in a comic book or a graphic novel. This is a marketing concept that boggles my mind, and makes me believe that the producers of this film believe that comic book readers love inane movies.\nThe film opens with five black spheres being fired through the windows of a skyscraper. The spheres then become people. People with swords, who summarily execute some armed gunmen. \nThen, we meet Ultraviolet, whose vibrant hair and clothing are flooded with cheap-looking lighting effects throughout the film. Why? Hard to say. The director doesn't decide to tell us.\nThen, Ultraviolet kills legions of people, and between each kill, manages to pose for the camera. A film like "The Matrix" made Keanu Reeves look pretty cool at times (you might not remember that this happened, but in the first one, it did). "Ultraviolet" makes Milla Jovovich look like a heroin-addicted asylum escapee who does not realize that modeling is for the runway in Paris and killing is for the logical movies in Hollywood.\nThe highlight of this film comes early on as Violet runs up a wall onto the ceiling. A security guard says, "How did she do that?" (please note: He did not ask how she formed a gun out of thin air, which she did as well), to which his superior replies, "I don't know. She must have some sort of gravity leveler."\nFortunately, the gravity leveler works on her motorcycle as well, and she is able to escape the helicopters by zooming up the side of a skyscraper at a hundred miles an hour.\nObviously, this movie is a science fiction thriller and is allowed to make new rules for its universe. If they want a gravity leveler, fine, have one. However, I find it fun to find smaller non-realisms. For example: One, Violet weighs probably 100 pounds, yet when she jumps onto the sidewalk, it cracks along a few feet around her. Two, the machine gun bullets always trail after her. Why don't the gunners lift the gun up one measly inch to compensate and end the movie earlier? Three, Violet picks up a suitcase the size and thickness of an iBook and a ten year old kid is floating in water inside of it.\nI enjoy going to bad action films as much as the next lunatic, but this movie was nearly impossible to enjoy. If you are not a funny person, either do not see this movie, or bring your funniest friend so they can use it for cannon fodder for 86 minutes. 80 minutes could have easily been taken out of this film.