V-Day intentions

Depictions of Cupid run rampant, candy hearts fill supermarket seasonal aisles and diamond commercials make everyone spending less than $50 feel bad about their gifts: Valentine's Day has arrived. As this season of love and heartache begins and drunkenly shot love arrows from the ancient god's bow poke people in the butt, I think it's important to step back, take a long hard look and decide the true meaning of Valentine's Day. \nValentine's Day is about love. It's about commitment. It's about showing the person you care about that he or she is spec ... ha ha. I'm sorry. I couldn't even get through that.\nValentine's Day will forever be a Hallmark holiday. It does have historical significance, tracing back to Saint Valentine and ancient mythology, but how many of us (excepting those scholars who will undoubtedly be offended) really know or care about that stuff? The following is what really matters to many people on Valentine's Day. \nFirst, having a date on Feb. 14 is essential to one's self-esteem. Let's face it, those who don't have dates undoubtedly spend a significant amount of time in front of the television. With DeBeer's, eHarmony.com and department stores galore advertising the importance of "having someone," guys and girls alike will be sitting at home crying while watching "When Harry Met Sally." While his or her friends are out staring deeply into the eyes of whomever they're with, the lonely gamer will be throwing the controller at the screen after getting intercepted in Madden 2006 and losing the Super Bowl. The victim of a recent breakup will be burning "his" or "her" pictures in the trash can.\nThe other reason why some might find it extremely necessary to have a date on Valentine's Day: sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. Both males and females, like sharks smelling blood in water, realize that the getting is good on Valentine's Day. It's interesting to watch as guys pull out their smoothest moves to try to seduce their dates into the sack, while women will order just enough to drink to be able to justify blaming it on the alcohol. Eyes dance on the physical attributes of dates and conversation turns toward love as the sex-driven couples notice the long-endured true love of committed couples all around them (or those simply engaged in a ploy of love in hopes that they might score). As the night winds down, the partners in this tango of lust either go home with the prize they sought after all night or end up with a loss of $50 in three hours. \nIf taking this chance of hooking up at the risk of so much money doesn't seem like one's type of venture, I suppose he or she could always attend an "I Hate Valentine's Day" party. I have been to a few of these myself -- interesting gatherings where there is no appeal to love, just a highlighted and well-known agenda of sexual intentions.\nSo for all of those truly in love on Valentine's Day, I sincerely congratulate you, and may you never fail in your love. For everyone else, I think that person at the bar is checking you out. Good luck.