A sweep of TV's crème de la crème

Poor February; you may be the shortest and coldest month of the year, but cry not, I still love you. After all, you provide me with February sweeps, the time when TV networks go all out to air the biggest and best shows. Each night during prime time I get to snuggle up to the warm glow of my TV, here are some highlights from sweeps so far.\nThe Grammys -- Really, U2, again? Ok fine, but look how upset Kanye West was when he lost for best album. That got me screaming, "We want a recount, we want a recount!" And Mariah Carey, you've been performing for 15 years now. Stop flailing your arms while singing or I'm going to personally amputate them.\n"24" -- Seriously, how is Jack Bauer still alive? Wait a few years and Chuck Norris jokes will be replaced by Jack Bauer jokes.\n"Desperate Housewives" -- To all who said the show was suffering a sophomore slump, it's comforting to know you're eating your words as we witness the showdown between Bree and Betty. Team Bree all the way.\n"Commander in Chief" -- After being pulled off the air for staff changes meant to improve the series, the show was supposed to return this month but has been pushed back again until April. Too bad, we won't get to see how President Mac would react to her VP shooting someone. The blood from the wound might be the only thing in the world redder than Mac's lipstick.\n"Arrested Development" -- And now for the 812th AD plug to be featured in Weekend. In a scheme of marketing genius Fox aired the final four episodes of this brilliant show on a Friday night, against the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. Great idea guys that will attract viewers. Hopefully by next sweeps the Bluth Banana stand will be set up over at Showtime; until then, I'll be dreaming of Pop-Pop and Gangey. \nThe Olympics -- Ahh, the Olympics. Only once every four years do we get to ogle over sports we would never even consider watching otherwise, laugh at funny foreign names and idolize unknown heroes only to forget about them two months later. But don't get me wrong -- I love the Olympics. I'm totally hooked to skiing, speed skating and even curling.\n"The OC" -- Oh, hey Ryan, Marissa, Seth and Summer. Um, listen, there's really no easy way to do this, but, uh I think we need to spend some time apart. I mean, come on guys, you're freaking out about Seth smoking pot. Remember that time when psycho skanky Jess overdosed in the pool. Yeah, no biggie. I mean the cops only got involved and you guys even did some '21 Jump Streeting' to catch the dealer, but Seth gets high, stop the presses. You're lucky promos feature a glimpse of Julie Cooper reenacting Sharon Stone's famous "Basic Instinct" interrogation scene. Otherwise I may only show up for the graduation episode in May ... you guys are graduating, right?\n"American Idol" -- Finally the auditions are over and we have a top 24. Early favorites to root for include Mandisa (if Simon says her butt is the size of France, then her voice is the size of Europe), Paris Bennett (hopefully when someone says the name Paris we'll start thinking of her and not the Hilton hotel heiress) and David Radford (his hometown is five minutes away from mine -- cool). Kellie Pickler, you made it to the top 24, so stop with your sob stories. Gray haired Taylor Hicks is also great, but he suddenly started impersonating Ray Charles. Jamie Foxx already does that 24/7. We don't need another person doing the same. \n"Grey's Anatomy" -- I had to save the best for last. Every time I tried to watch Grey's I could never truly enjoy it for one reason: Meredith Grey. Every episode she presents us with annoying voice-overs along the lines of "Life can be hard, we overcome obstacles, but at the end of the day everything works out for the best" blah blah blah. Cue cool indie rock song. \nBut all that changed on the "Code Black" post Superbowl episode when Christina Ricci ditched Mere with a bomb in a patients body and suddenly ... Meredith shutup for once. And I could finally enjoy supporting characters like Dr. Bailey (if her husband didn't survive the car wreck, I would've been willing to help her raise the baby) and George O'Malley (the new TV nerd every girl loves and every guy secretly wants to be, sorry Cohen but while you were getting high George was delivering babies). Then the show actually had the balls to let the bomb explode! Too bad only the bomb squad guys died; it would've been nice to see Meredith blow up too. Either way, I'm still hooked.\nThough sweeps is almost over, don't be upset March brings good TV too. "The Sopranos" finally return and there's a little show known as the Oscars. Happy TV watching.