Hard lessons learned

I graduated from a high school that most in the Kansas City, Mo., area think of as a breeding ground for drugs, violence and gangs. Whenever I told people where I went to school, I expected the looks of pity and, in some cases, fright. But contrary to the assumptions of most, in my four years at Grandview High School, I learned a lot about life, hardship and friendship. \nMy classmates came from a wide range of backgrounds and situations. One year I bought a pack of gum as a birthday present for an acquaintance and was stunned when she commented, "This is more than I'll even get from my family." I knew people who were former drug dealers, rape victims, orphans and some who became first-generation high school graduates. I also knew a number of students whose families were relatively stable and very well off, although you wouldn't know it because they were so down-to-earth.\nMany people are stunned to find out that my best friend during middle school and high school was black. And while it pains me to confess that we no longer keep in touch, for those six years, we were joined at the hip. Together we endured stares and whispers from people who couldn't fathom how two entirely different girls could become such close friends. \nMany people I met outside Grandview often wondered whether I felt afraid of the environment in which I attended school. Certainly, it is not a place bereft of brawls and bomb threats, and I definitely had my share of conflict. The school's notorious reputation isn't helped by newspaper headlines about kids being arrested in the parking lot or gun fights about sports rivalries. \nIt is not my intention to glorify these circumstances, but from the outside looking in, people don't recognize how students in Grandview learn tolerance, empathy, loyalty and compassion. In this environment, students learn who their real friends are and how to deal with betrayal. And they don't learn it in the classrooms, but in the hallways from one another. \nOne year, a group of girls relentlessly poked fun at a couple of my friends. I finally stood up and asked them to stop. The leader of this group tested my resolve, threatening to jump me, but I held my ground. The girls never bothered us again, and I hold onto that moment as a lesson in standing for what I believe in, even at the risk of physical harm.\nFrankly, I am grateful I had the opportunity to attend a school where I could acquaint myself with such a vast assortment of people, including those who wanted to beat me up. I came to understand the effects of home life on personality and behavior better than I ever would have in a psychology class, and these social lessons left a deep imprint in my perspective on life.\nI'm sure there are a number of schools across the country that are involved in similar situations. While outsiders might only see the police officers in every hallway, the violence and the broken lives of the students, some of life's greatest lessons are to be found inside the walls of these high schools.