Remotely controlled

The sun was a giant lemon, plump and ripe in a deep, Smurf-colored sky. As I mowed the grass one serene day last August, I watched the sunlight bounce across cumulonimbus cotton balls, hopping from cloud to cloud like a meteorological kangaroo.\nThat's when my neighbor, a peer of mine, drove by my house and yelled, "Faggot!" \nThe word was startling, like a kick in the groin, and shot through my pride like a bullet. The sky's shade quickly sunk from Smurf to smut.\nIt was like he had reached into the sky itself and begun squeezing the lemon right over me, allowing the droplets of tart juice to fall into an open wound. \nI was livid. \nI went inside, smeared large streaks of black glitter under each eye and devised an ingenious revenge strategy. I would go to Kroger late the next night, buy a large jug of bleach and drive over to his house. Then, when no one was looking, I would sneak up to his car and poop through his sunroof.\nThen I'd go home and do a load of whites to cool off. \nAll I had to do was wait one day. During that time, however, I began to wonder: Why was it that I was so outraged by the word? I called my other gay friends "faggots" all the time, not to mention myself.\nEven now, the question remains: When is it OK to call someone a faggot?\nTruth is, using the word "faggot" is like using a gun. It's all about intent to kill. Whereas some people are using the words jokingly, like cap guns used to play Cowboys and Indians, others have guns that are fully loaded. \nCocked. \nAlthough homosexuals using the word "faggot" seems hypocritical, by using this word playfully, we are attempting to reclaim it as our own, to siphon the power out of a previously degrading word. \nTake the word "nigger" for example. Since it was used primarily throughout history for degradation, the African-American community began adopting the word in rap lyrics and communal conversation. They emasculated it, like taking the battery out of a remote. Without it, there is no control.\nNevertheless, you should think twice before pulling these verbal triggers.\nAccording to C.J. Pascoe's essay "Dude, You're a fag," although the word "faggot" has become a part of the regular lexicon, "it may be used as (an incidental) weapon." An act of manslaughter can still kill someone's self-esteem.\nAlthough I was the victim of a first-degree shooting, I decided to take the mature path. Because, when I drove to his house the next day, bowels loaded, I saw my tinted reflection in his car window. \nI suddenly realized by seeking this revenge, I would merely be putting the batteries back in his remote control. \nFurthermore, I realized how childish I was being. After all, dog poop can be traced for DNA.