Region-opedia

Whether you're new to IU-Bloomington or a fifth-year senior, by now you've probably run into a curious species of creature scientists have dubbed the "Region Rat."\nThis species hails from an area in the northwest corner of the state that, while technically part of Indiana, regularly cheers for the Bulls and Bears rather than the Pacers and Colts and really, really wants to be part of Illinois.\nUnfortunately for the Region, Illinois looks down on this area and wants nothing to do with it, leaving Northwest Indiana in a perpetual identity crisis.\nStill, it's important to note that much like the Middle East, not everyone from the Region shares the same customs. While those from the tri-town area of Dyer, Schererville and St. John might be very familiar with pastimes such as "screwing around in the Wal-Mart late on a Friday night," those from Crown Point might be much more familiar with, "Hey, let's go check out that haunted hospital/school/graveyard we read about on the Internet."\nLuckily, having grown up in the Region, I can shed some light on the various towns and the important differences between them, helping you all to appear much more cultured to your Region Rat friends.\nGary -- This is the "big city" in the Region you've probably heard about, renowned for its ridiculously high murder rate in the 1970s. Michael Jackson and his family come from Gary, but since the time of the Jackson Five, the city has gained an entirely new taste in music. Now it's much easier to think of it as Compton, Calif., just without any talented rappers like Dr. Dre coming out of it.\nSchererville and St. John -- The area I'm from is pretty typical suburbia. These two towns make up two-thirds of the tri-city area, though Schererville is slightly better because it has a Wal-Mart.\nDyer -- The last part of the tri-cities, but no one actually lives there. Dyer is just streets and streets of smoke shops where overtaxed Illinoisans come across the border to shop.\nMerrillville -- Slowly being sucked into the black hole that is Gary.\nHighland and Munster -- These are the crown jewels of the region. The best schools, houses and shops are located here. Instead of a Wal-Mart, they have a Target. Lucky.\nCrown Point -- You know how when most people get really old they move to Florida? Well, if you're from the Region, once you hit 65 you move here. To the rest of the Region, John Dillinger escaping from the town courthouse is history. Most of the population of Crown Point lived through it and still complains about it like a current event.\nNow there are other towns in the Region too, like Hammond, which is renowned for its abysmal mill air, and Lowell, which has the best and biggest porn store in the Region, but those listed above are the real core of the Region. You should now have a pretty good idea of the psychosis of your Region Rat friends. \nBut it's not our fault. We just want to be part of Illinois.