Free telegraph with purchase

Though I hate to admit it, I've become accustomed to my cell phone. It's not only among the most mind-boggling inventions in history, it's easily the most convenient device ever made. Whether used for normal calls, emergencies or just to whip out whenever you need a fake phone call to look busy and avoid awkward situations, a cell phone will find a way to grow on you.\nEven when you don't really need it, you just feel naked without it there -- as if some bizarre situation will transpire and leave you wishing, "If only I had my cell phone... "\nWhile I don't quite understand the cell phone phenomenon, I do appreciate them. This is not to say, however, that I'm about to join the Nokia Fan Club or start downloading all the freshest new jams to tweak my ring tone library.\nSome people just need to settle down before T-Mobile tattoos start getting popular. Yes, cell phones are cool, why can't we just leave it at that? Obsessive CellPhonic Disorder is infecting the nation and spreading fast.\nThe first sign of OCPD is overuse of the gadget itself, marked by insane monthly bills and highly sarcastic comments from the patient's annoyed friends. In girls especially, party situations are particularly dangerous; they feel inclined to phone other people, usually from the party's loudest area, and engage in impossible conversations where neither person has any idea what the other is saying. Equally annoying is the inclination of such girls to commit to group drinking games, usually 'Flippy Cup', while remaining committed to a cell phone conversation, which enrages not only the players in the delayed game but also the person on the phone.\nThe next level is the sending and receiving of text messages, a clear sign one has truly gone mad. The sad truth about "texting" is not the absurdity that two people holding telephones are for some reason typing to each other when they could simply press a single button and speak, it's that the typing itself is done on a letter by letter basis with only eight keys to represent 26 letters. It's so tedious you might as well be doing Morse Code, representative of just how sick these people really are -- think about it, would you buy a normal telephone if the salesman said he'd throw in a free telegraph?\nThe last phase of OCPD is accessorizing to the point of stupidity, beyond even ordering Jamster ring tones. While an employee of a cell phone accessory kiosk, I witnessed firsthand the tragedy of cell phone covers and the results aren't pretty. Imagine my horror when a thugged out, ECKO-toting gangsta sincerely asked to see what the pink hearts and flower design would look like on his Nextel; luckily, his girlfriend talked him out of it, but the mere request still makes me cringe. And if that wasn't enough, new clothing lines now advertise a "Cell Phone Pocket," specifically designed for your cell phone. Well here's a little secret about "Cell Phone Pockets": take any pocket in the world, put a cell phone in it, and guess what -- you've got yourself a cell phone pocket!\nThere is no cure for OCPD, but there is one treatment option I recommend: download Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" and set it as your ring tone. After a week, you'll never want to see your phone again.