Retaining my memories

Well, it's all over. I'm a college graduate. Commencement ceremonies have ended, I've received my symbolic red diploma folder, and I've taken the must-have picture in front of the Sample Gates wearing my cap and gown.\nAnd now that it is all over, everyone keeps asking me the same question they did after I graduated from high school: Do you feel any different? My answer, surprisingly, is, "Yes."\nIn fact, I feel very different -- I've never felt so completely unemployed in my entire life.\nDon't get me wrong, I'm going to enjoy the free time while I still have it, but I've never known what it feels like to have absolutely nothing to do.\nThank goodness I'm completely unemployed in Bloomington, where there's plenty of things to do to keep yourself entertained for the summer. If I were in Lafayette, I don't think I could handle it. I mean, the prospect of waking up every morning with at least 14 hours of unstructured time to pass is pretty daunting, but I think I'm up to the task.\nI've actually resolved to spend my time in the most abstract way possible: absorbing Bloomington.\nYou see, as you graduate from college you experience a strange moment where everything becomes clearer and all problems come into focus (it's kind of like dying). In my near-death experience moment of clarity, I realized what it is I'm going to miss the most about college, and it surprised me.\nMore than all people I've met, dates I've been on, walks I've taken, and parties I've been to, I'm going to miss Bloomington the most. I'm going to miss that essential Bloomingtonness that you can't find in any other town.\nSo I've resolved to spend as much time as I can absorbing Bloomington before I leave. For 14 hours a day, I will be walking around this town attempting to experience everything that is unique about it so I can retain it forever.\nMy theory is if I'm able to absorb Bloomington into my skin, if I allow it to reside in my very pores, maybe it will allow me to hold on to my memories even longer. Maybe if I can carry that essential Bloomingtonness with me, the moments of my life associated with it will stay with me forever.\nI will be able to retain the memories of walking to class in the fresh sunlight, of listening to the fall leaves crunch underneath my feet, of watching squirrels try to avoid students in their attempt to make Bloomington their home. \nI will be able to retain the memories of walking around downtown with nowhere to go, of sharing a beer with a friend on a hot Friday afternoon in spring, of playing on the swings in Bryan park. \nI will be able to retain the memories of waking up to Sept. 11, of loving and losing and loving again, of a friend's sudden death and all the pain that went with it. \nI will be able to retain the memories of the people and the moments that have come to define my life.\nI for one can fully claim, "I am a product of all that I have met." My experiences in this town have created me, and I will try to hold on to them forever out of a fear of losing myself should I let them go.\nSo, over the next several weeks as I attempt to pass the days while looking for a job, I will be wandering around this town trying to take it all in and lock it away. \nI know that I have to leave this part of my life behind and move into the next phase, but I will always carry it with me.