Not quite 'House of Wack'

House of Wax" marks Paris Hilton's first starring role in a feature film, and as such I'll save you folks some sense of mystery. Yes, she sucks worse as an actress than she did in her hotel room video sex romp, and yes, she dies ... brutally.\nIn spite of being a remake of Vincent Price's 1953 chiller of the same name, the two have little or nothing in common other than the title. While differentiating itself from the original, "Wax" loses originality points for being the latest in a long line of teens go on a road trip-teens tangle with hillbillies-teens get murdered horror flicks a la "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Cabin Fever" and "Wrong Turn." \nElisha Cuthbert and Chad Michael Murray headline as twin siblings Carly and Nick Jones. She's the golden child of their family: considering uprooting from the South to New York City and dating upstanding nice guy Wade (Jared Padalecki of "Gilmore Girls"). Her brother Nick's the black sheep: just released from the state pen for pilfering Plymouths and looking to party. Together the trio sets out for a college football game in Louisiana with three other friends; Nick's smart-ass sidekick Dalton (Jon Abrahams) and horndog honeys Paige (Hilton) and Blake (Robert Ri'chard). As is par for the course, the sextet stops in some podunk town to camp, drink and diddle. Amid their youthful indiscretions Nick runs afoul of a redneck by the name of Bo (Brian Van Holt). Shortly thereafter things go to shit for these WB poster children as they get offed one by one.\nAs for the slayings, they're pretty damned cool here: Achilles tendons are sliced, kids get "waxed" while still alive, one dude has his dome scissored off by a pair of knives and Paris takes a pole in the head. Adventurous filmgoers might even recognize a bludgeoning reference from Gaspar Noé's "Irréversible." This comes as no real surprise as the flick's directed by fellow Frenchman Jaume Serra, a commercial director making his feature debut. Serra infuses the film with a welcomed sense of style, implementing Hitchcockian crane shots during a chase sequence and mounting cameras to the backs of cars.\nCharacterization is next to nil save for Cuthbert and Murray's turns as Carly and Nick. I came into the film as a fan of Cuthbert's work in "24" and "The Girl Next Door." She makes for a pretty decent "scream queen," though I prefer her as a blonde. I knew next to nothing of Murray other than he's adored by preteen girls, but his -meets-badass persona melds together nicely. Hilton makes for a pretty crappy "scream queen," as she doesn't so much scream as yelp like the pup that often protrudes from her purse.\nWhile it doesn't exactly reinvent the wheel, "House of Wax" makes for a fun, albeit cheesy, couple hours at a multiplex matinee or better yet the drive-in.