TiVo: greatest invention since the telephone

Baseball season started off this week with the rivalry between the Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees. As I watched the sport, I realized something -- I really need TiVo.\nBaseball is a sport with a slow, laid-back attitude. A lackadaisical sport for summer enjoyment, but not the tempo I crave. I need the fast-paced action a sport like basketball provides. But you know, with the control of speeding up the drama at the push of a button, TiVo can make anything better.\n"OK, OK, OK, alright stop! -- a hit!"\nOh God, how I wish I had TiVo.\nYou see, this isn't just wishful thinking, like my longing for an iPod or my own entourage á la 50 Cent. My addiction has been built up through experience. Back home in Indianapolis, my father made the wise investment of buying a TiVo receiver for the satellite TV. Yeah, we had to go hungry for a few weeks and I still regret forgoing that penicillin, but it was worth it.\nImmediately, it changed my life. No longer did I have to watch commercials. No longer did I have to watch time-outs or listen to inane TV announcers. No longer did I have to watch shows when they are scheduled to air. It's 5 a.m. and there's nothing to do? Watch a "South Park" episode!\nLet me break down to you some of the reasons why TiVo is the greatest thing to happen to TV since "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air."\nFirst, live action is dead. It used to be the 'in' thing to have everything on live. "COPS: Live," "Roc: Live" and award show after award show. Everyone always says, "With live TV anything can happen." Well, that's really not true anymore. Thanks to Michael Powell, the emperor of nepotism, this is no longer true. Every football game, MTV award show and reality-based program are all as scripted as a Barbara Walters interview. The only benefit of live TV is that surprises can't be spoiled. But if you make sure nobody tells you the score of the game or who won Best Picture, then who cares?\nThe next reason why I think TiVo is so great is because you can get the "Cliff Notes" version of a program. We in society really like things to be summarized for us. As a journalist, I know that people don't want to know every little detail about an event, that's why SportsCenter, Fox News and USA Today are so popular. With TiVo, you can skip the appetizers and parsley and get straight to the sirloin steak.\nFinally, and this is my strongest argument, I think TiVo is wonderful because of its ability to work with your schedule. I rarely watch TV and when I do, it's usually because of a game I've been thinking about watching or I just have nothing to do at 2 a.m. I spend very little time in my room, so when I do, I just pop in a DVD instead of flipping through the channels. I love Netflix and I love TV shows on DVD, but I miss the options that TiVo affords me. Without TiVo, I never would have discovered shows like "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "Arrested Development" or "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" because they were never on when I watch TV. With that magical, sleek, black box I never miss my shows and can watch countless movies for free.\nMy only complaint is that the magic of TiVo isn't available in other aspects of my life. Barber taking forever? -- fast forward through it. Need more time on a test? -- click pause. That hot girl (or guy, if that's your thing) in your lecture hall course is looking really good on a warm spring day? -- slow-motion instant replay.\nLife would be so much better if it moved at my pace, if I could control time.\nMaybe I'm letting technology and the control it allows me prevent me from enjoying the simple things in life. Maybe I need some more patience. Maybe I need to stop and smell the roses.\nOr maybe I just need TiVo.