I think; therefore, I castrate

Some people like Cheerios, others like eggs sunny-side up. Me? I like to eat men for breakfast. \nAt least, that's what a lot of men think we female opinion columnists do in the morning. We grind them up in our food processor ... I mean, word processor. \nThrough my childhood, I became familiar with a slew of female journalist characters that surmounted extraordinary obstacles to become successful in journalism. Lois Lane and April from "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" always got the scoop on the metro villains; Mary Tyler Moore and Murphy Brown were high-paid anchors in "the big city." \nThe fictional female reporters have us pegged as two things: We are mighty feisty and desperately lonely. \nIn the real world -- with Ann Coulter and Maureen Dowd -- the "feisty and single" stereotype doesn't seem too far-fetched. But unlike Mary, no one has ever described either of these columnists as having the ability to "turn the world on with a smile." So I guess opinion writers are feisty, lonely and abrasive.\nOn Mar. 13, New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd discussed the lack of women who dare to write opinions. She reflected on being called a nag and President Clinton making a "castration joke." \nThe current topic of women columnists was incited by Susan Estrich, who couldn't persuade the Los Angeles Times opinion editor Michael Kinsley to syndicate her column. Estrich has declared Kinsley's decision as sexist, because the L.A. Times currently has only one female columnist. \nTrue, women scarcely appear on the Op-Ed pages of newspapers. The Times and The Washington Post also have only one woman on their staffs. But contrary to Estrich's belief, most editors really want to hire female columnists; there just isn't an abundance of women rushing to fill the position of Token Bitch. \nNo wonder most women would prefer to be the next Dear Abby or Carrie Bradshaw from "Sex and the City." Writing an advice or sex column is the friendlier and feminine alternative. \nAnd many of the well-known female opinion columnists aren't helping to refute the unpopular image. Some try so hard to beat the stereotype of a passive, disinterested woman into submission, they scare people. \nExhibit A: Ann Coulter. \nCoulter has gone so far as to alienate other women just to suggest she's so independent she need not even represent the social concerns of her own sex. Columnists like Coulter give opinionated women a bad rap because they come across as insensitive and frigid. \nSure, some of the fault is due to male prejudice, but being excessively offensive just to make a point about women's lib is merely exacerbating the stereotype. \nI have to give Coulter a one-handed applause for her attempt to bridge the gap between man-eater and sex kitten, though. Her "action figure," which can be purchased for $29.99 from www.talkingpresidents.com, a Republican Web site, is essentially a Barbie in a belted swaddling of cloth. It would be nice to inspire young girls to be more opinionated with a good role model, but let's face it: Without bendable joints, the only "action" this "figure" can do is a rotation from the hips. \nToday, women aren't afraid to express opinions; it's just not perceived as tactful for a "proper" and feminine woman to criticize men. This creates a dilemma, because our government is predominately controlled by men. Unfortunately, the poor representation of female politicians forces us to appear like we're only attacking men -- whom we like toasted with a side of hash browns. \nWomen shouldn't let the labels discourage them from participating in the great public discourse. Though politics and social issues are often categorized as male interests, we can help prove they're simply human interests. \nAnd delicious.