Corner stone

My papa was not "a rolling stone." \nFor those of you who don't have the 1972 song stashed away in your iPod, the song lyrics go:\nPapa was a rolling stone/ wherever he laid his hat was his home/ (and when he died) /all he left us was alone.\nEven as a kid, I knew that having a father consistently in my life made me an exception to the social norm. The terms "child support" and "deadbeat" found their way into my lexicon long before I heard the one hit wonder of B Rock and the Bizz, "That's Just My Baby Daddy."\nLike so many black folks, I understand the concept of "father in absentia." It's "the erosion of masculinity and patriarchy" within the black family structure as described in author Mark Anthony Neal's book "Soul Babies." \nHowever, I think the actions of dads who've gone M.I.A. often overshadow the efforts of dads who stick around.\nThanks to mainstream media, pop culture and social ignorance, images of failed black fathers have contributed to African-American males' title as "the most maligned group on the planet," as said by talk show host Tavis Smiley. \nJust watch "The Maury Povich Show," and it's likely you'll see a "You're the Baby Daddy, and I'll Prove It" episode, complete with one angry black "baby mama" and an unemployed, unfaithful or unconvinced (of paternity), alleged "baby daddy."\nIt seems within my short lifetime, the phrase "baby daddy" has worked its way up to the status of pop cultural mainstay. And no matter how one might try to ditch and dodge the tag, "baby daddy" is a label strictly designated for the lower class -- black men in particular.\nThe simple fact that society's adopted a specific title to identify the non-husband, biological father of a black child shows just how accepted and expected black fatherless children have become.\nBut it's time to stop laughing about society's low expectations for black fathers. When black folks themselves begin to accept and perpetuate the idea that black men are forever hustlers and/or womanizers -- we can't expect little brothas to break the cycle of the stereotype and exceed our low expectations to become family men.\nGranted, some black males fail to meet the challenge of fatherhood out of their own irresponsibility. I wholeheartedly recognize that the baby daddy terminology has some validity.\nIt's so important to recognize how black fathers who remain present in their children's lives truly make a difference.\nWhen I was a little girl -- long before I started reading books like Neal's "Soul Babies" -- every night, my father read a chapter from "Little House in the Big Woods" by Laura Ingalls Wilder to me. And though my reading tastes have changed, the love of reading my father fostered in me, along with encouragement from my mom, helped to produce the writer I am today.\nWith all the negative stereotypes about black men that could have seeped into my conscience and changed the way I saw myself as a black person, my father's actions alone served as a counter to those generalizations. \nSure, in many cases, black mothers have had to pick up the slack where fathers have lagged -- adding more than their share to the black community structure. But we must demand the same efforts from black fathers. \nIf more black fathers fulfilled their parenting responsibilities, an already prejudiced society might have one less excuse to ostracize black men. \nThe fact is, the black community needs a strong base -- and there's nothing stable about a foundation that's built upon a rolling stone.