Win it for the fans in Philly?

It's been a good year for sports in Massachusetts. The Red Sox finally won the World Series, and now the Patriots are in position to win back-to-back Super Bowls and their third in four years. Note to fans: In the New England area, that sensation you've never felt before? It's called happiness, enjoy it. \nWith all this success, it should be difficult to keep pulling for those teams and their fans, given that everyone loves an underdog. So when the Patriots suit up in Jacksonville, Fla., to play Philadelphia in two Sundays at Super Bowl XXXIX, will I be rooting for the Eagles' titleless franchise and their fans? Not a chance.\nI'll root for a team from Philadelphia when there are ice skaters on the River Styx, Tupac stops making albums and Jessica Simpson's IQ breaks the 50-point barrier. \nTruthfully, I don't have much to complain about regarding the actual teams in the City of Brotherly Love. I love the way Donovan McNabb plays, I'm a big Jim Thome guy, and if Kyle Korver would stop trying to be Ashton Kutcher and just cut his hair, I could get behind him, too. Really I have nothing against Philadelphia itself. I like G-Love, am a sucker for a good cheesesteak and still get inspired when watching "Rocky."\nSo why so much hatred for Philly teams? Easy. They have the worst fans in all of sports -- period. They are the kind of fans that boo until they pass out, then wake up and keep going. These people are so bad, they don't deserve a championship.\nYou want examples of how horrible these morons are? I've got 'em:\nIn 1999, fans jeered Dallas Cowboys receiver Michael Irvin as he lay on the field for 20 minutes suffering from a neck injury that ended his career. As they showed the replay inside the stadium, fans cheered as it became obvious that Irvin had been seriously injured. I'm not the biggest Michael Irvin supporter, but come on guys, that's harsh even for me. Plus, if his career wouldn't have ended there, maybe we wouldn't have to see those ridiculous outfits he wears on ESPN. \nThat same year, fans pelted St. Louis Cardinals outfielder J.D. Drew with D batteries because he refused to sign with the Phillies out of college the previous year. Gee, I wonder why on earth he didn't want to play in front of that crowd 81 games a year.\nAlso in 1999, Matthew Scott, the only person in the United States to receive a hand transplant, was asked by the Phillies to throw out the first pitch at the team's home opener. The pitch, from his transplanted hand, barely dribbled over home plate. The sensitive fans showed their sympathy by booing Scott off the field. \nFormer Eagles kicker Mark Moseley returned to Philadelphia as a member of the Washington Redskins and was promptly hit on the head with a bottle tossed from the stands.\nWant more memorable moments from Philly fans? They booed the drafting of franchise savior Donovan McNabb; they wanted Akili Smith or Ricky Williams. But hey, can you blame them? Akili and Ricky are having great careers, right? How about when they booed local hero, perennial all-star and hall-of-famer Mike Schmidt until he cried during a slump in the early '80s, or when the violence and public intoxication was so bad at Veterans Stadium in 1997 that the city actually opened a jail -- complete with a courtroom and judge -- inside the stadium. \nHey, maybe I'm wrong, maybe we could all sit back and enjoy a game in Philly with their fans like anywhere else. That is, unless you're wearing a red suit and cap while trying to spread joy to children, of course. Yes, even jolly old St. Nick fell victim to the fans in Philly, as Eagles fans famously blasted Santa Claus with a shower of snowballs at halftime of a game. The rotund Kringle impersonator circled the field helplessly before stadium officials were forced to rescue him.\nI hope Santa gets his revenge on Philadelphia fans and they get football's equivalent to a lump of coal: a loss.