Decisions made easy

Back in the days of yore, decisions were easy to make. Now we live in complicated times; an era of electronic can-openers and animatronic pirates. We are plagued daily by the need for complicated decision making.\nWhich career path should I choose? What should I eat for breakfast?\nFinding advice is confusing. With every dilemma, we ponder: what would Latin pop sensation Ricky Martin do in my situation?\nThere's an easier way to make decisions. I crafted a decision-making model that helps me over every speed bump. Just take your problem and apply it to the three following steps:\nStep 1: Seek wisdom from the wise.\nAs redundant as it sounds, simply look to those who went before you or said profound things such as philosophers, famous people or popular musicians. What would Confucius eat for breakfast?\nIf you are unsure where to start, I suggest going to instant messenger and checking the away messages of your buddies, the easiest place to find inspirational quotes and poignant song lyrics.\nStep 2: Classify your problem as Mexican cuisine.\nThough unconventional, this step is the key to understanding the nature of your problem. If your dilemma were a kind of Mexican food, what would it be? Is this issue a tamale or an enchilada? If it's the former, take a moment to critically analyze what an enchilada means to you.\nStep 3: If all else fails, turn to Billy Joel's classic, "It's Still Rock 'n Roll to Me."\nInfinite wisdom resides in the lyrics of this song. For example, let's say you're debating whether to buy new speakers. Billy Joel says, "Don't waste your money on a new set of speakers. You get more mileage from a cheap pair of sneakers." \nBuy shoes instead.\nIf you don't know what to wear for that hot date, Billy Joel says, "How about a pair of pink sidewinders and a bright orange pair of pants." \nProblem solved.\nAs an aside, I've never known what Billy was referring to when he said "sidewinders." The dictionary told me a sidewinder is a kind of rattle snake or punch in the face. It turns out sidewinders are sandals. Maybe everybody else knew that.\nThe model works for all problems. For example, registering for classes can be stressful. Let's say you need to decide betwixt fitting in that extra required class or taking Intro to Jazzercise.\nIn the first step we look for advice from others. Albert Einstein once said, "Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted." \nJust because that carefree elective isn't a requirement doesn't mean you won't gain valuable life skills.\nIn step two, I'm envisioning curriculum choices as a burrito. A burrito has a variety of different ingredients all wrapped up in a flour tortilla. In the flour tortilla of next semester, you too should have variety.\nJust to make sure, let's ask Billy Joel. He says, "Should I try to be a straight 'A' student? If you are then you think too much."\nOne should not be overly preoccupied with academics. Billy Joel says Jazzercise your heart out.\nNow that you see how it works, you can have the confidence to apply the model to everyday quandaries.\nYour roommate claims Michelle Kwan's triple toe loop/triple toe loop combination outshined Tara Lipinski's triple loop/triple loop jump combination in the 1998 winter Olympics. \nYou can end this argument once and for all by turning to step one. When debating issues of figure skating, I find that the words of musical artist Master P best express my true feelings. On the issue of Kwan's triple toe loop I believe Master P would say something along the lines of, "uhh, na na na na."\nObviously your roommate is wrong. Three simple steps can guide you through it all.