From sneezy to sleazy

It seemed like only a fortnight ago -- I was staring at a pair of misshapen, disease-ridden testicles. Crippled by my inability to look away from the equivalent of a car crash, I sat in disgusted awe at the nauseating STD pictures shown in my fifth grade sex-ed class. The purpose of the photos was to scare us away from having sex by showing us pictures of private parts that looked like they had lost a fight against a George Foreman grill. \nMs. Gurgle, our teacher, was very passionate about preaching abstinence to the children. Every day during her bombastic "I Have a Condom" speech, she would scream, "Sex is for the devil! The Lord wants your underwear ON!"\nI remember thinking at the time she was completely insane. Now, looking back after all these years ... yeah, I still think she is completely insane. But maybe she had a reason for being so emphatic. Maybe it does take such drastic measures to convince kids today that sex is dangerous. Because now, instead of sex being considered a sin, sex is in. It has become teenagers' primary fixation and has only gotten more perverse and more explicit as we've grown older. \nWhen we were fifth-graders, sex was described to us as "kind of like a sneeze ... only better." But over the years, our exposure to sexual imagery has gone from metaphorically sneezy to just plain sleazy. Teenagers today are lambasted with sexual imagery. Popular television shows like "The OC" and "Temptation Island" are beginning to jam the airwaves. The seedy TV show "Dog Eat Dog" on NBC is a prime example. One of the events on the competitive game show has contestants who answer questions incorrectly remove an article of clothing, like "Jeopardy" striptease, until they are completely in the buff. The contestants do so on national television, leading our anti-intellectual youth culture to believe booty is more important than brains. \nSexploitation isn't just on TV though. It's everywhere. Magazines. Movies. Heck, even Dentyne Ice commercials are turning to sex appeal (because sugar-injected whale blubber is such an aphrodisiac)!\nBut a problem arises when sex is no longer just advertised in the media. I see it popping up on the streets of our campus as well: exposed thongs and boxers, tighter articles of clothing, inappropriate touching, etc. Students exude a similar type of imagery in attempts to attract possible mates. You see, my concern is that we have become so entranced by these sexual images that we have begun to ignore any message of abstinence. \nTo all you virgins out there who feel like the last dinosaur, you are far from being extinct. In fact, according to a February issue of The Washington Times, the percentage of teenagers ages 15 to 18 who have had sex has declined in the past 10 years from 55 percent to 45 percent.\nI realize sex is practically statistically inevitable; however I believe we should all wait until we reach a full level of maturity to experience it. After all, is one night really worth the consequences? Let's weight the pros and cons, shall we? Pro: Sex. Con: HERPES. Pro: Sex. Con: PREGNANCY. Pro: Sex. Con: AIDS. Get the point?\nKeep in mind that one mistake could change your life forever ... because it's hard to climb the uneven stairs of Ballantine Hall while wearing a papoose. Hopefully, this article will help students heed the words of crazy Ms. Gurgle and renew their coveted V-club membership.