Chicks dig my puppy

Behold! I have found the weakness inherent in women. The Achilles' heel that allows guys to gain access to hundreds -- yes, hundreds -- of women of all ages and backgrounds. Single men, listen up: Even you can use the knowledge I attained in the past week. \nIt revolves around the most vicious and unstoppable woman-baiting creature known to man: the baby animal. In my case, it was my family's 7-week-old Shetland Sheepdog puppy.\nAttaining the puppy was no easy task. While my father and sister were dead set on having a new puppy, my mother was somewhat wary of making the new 10-plus year investment. Her resolve crumbled, however, when I came home and began asking for a new puppy as well.\nResearching the best puppy option began about a year ago by looking through all the different dogs available. Our last dog, Kirby, was a Sheltie with a very mild disposition, and we wanted another dog that would be able to chill out at home. After much debate, it was decided that instead of getting another breed of dog we needed to find another with the same temperament.\nAfter my father made a few calls, it turned out that there was a puppy available in Greenville, Mich., a three and half hour drive from my home in Granger, Ind. My mother and I made the trek up to meet the breeder, a woman wearing bright pink pants and a flea market sweatshirt with kittens on it. She showed us her tiny collection of dogs, using the word "bitch" without insult.\nWe stepped inside her house to see four little animals in a cage and were introduced to the puppy we could own. The animal flung its little body about, playing with its brothers and sister and tugging at our shoelaces with reckless abandon. Needless to say, it was rather effective marketing.\nThe next week I found myself taking my trusty 1992 Mercury Sable back into Michigan to retrieve the puppy. When I got there I found the puppy more irresistible than before. I put her in a box in the passenger seat and listened as she whined for the next hour. Even though the dog was annoying me and distracting my fast, Michigan-style driving, I couldn't help but notice her little eyes were just the prettiest things.\nThe "Puppy Effect" swept my neighborhood the second I brought her home. Neighbors crossed the street and greeted the puppy with the same enthusiasm they would treat their own pet. Friends came over to see the little animal do something stupid like jump around in the grass or run toward noise.\nI became aware of the full power of "Puppy Effect" when I went to a party with my best friend Kevin. He suggested we bring along the puppy. The instant we arrived at the party, two girls were already trying to open the cage. When it was opened every girl at the party migrated to the dog, asking if they could pet it, play with it or hold it.\nThe attention the puppy received continued through the night. Even while the dog was sleeping women were gathered around it in loving admiration. That pull at the heartstrings brought out some maternal chain-reaction, pulling women in from miles around.\nAnd so I learned that regardless of your faults, women will still flock to you if you are holding a puppy. They truly are man's best friend.