President Playboy

President of the United States is a title I used to associate with some old man sitting at a desk. \nOh, how things change. As I have become older and wiser and presidents have become a little friskier, I now see a president as an old man with a hot chick sitting on him, or under his desk. \nLast week I couldn't watch NBC or E! without hearing of former President Bill Clinton's new book and the same old Monica crap. Henceforth, after reviewing what being the man in charge really means, I am changing the prestigious title to "Playboy of the United States," because let's face it -- that's exactly what they are. \nBut haven't they always been?\nJohn F. Kennedy spent little time in the White House but will never be forgotten. Some say because of his tragic ending -- I say because he was a "10." He urged man to step on the moon, but more importantly, he could lure in the ladies with his swooping bangs and killer smile. He nabbed Marilyn Monroe, snuck girls in with the laundry and is remembered as a legend.\nNo president from that era forward would ever be elected if they are of midget stature or even slightly overweight. If you don't believe me, look at history.\nRonald Reagan, an ex-movie star, led the country through the 1980s, and now we have a man governing California who won body-building contests, starred as a kindergarten cop and terminated on the side. At times you have no idea what he is saying, but you still look at him on TV and smile. \nBottom line: America loves looks.\nWe want our leaders to be hotties. We give them the power, we feed their ego, we grovel at their feet and then we rip them to shreds when they falter. But they falter because of us. Americans have a way of wanting it all and never understanding that sometimes when we do get it, we are still going to want more. Then we fail and fail miserably when that line is crossed.\nIn the latest interviews, Clinton admitted that he had the affair just because he could. Of course he could, because like JFK, he had the great hair and when enough makeup was applied to those bags under his eyes, he wasn't too shabby. So he had it all, he crossed the line and he almost got away with it. But I think we forget that he could have done a lot more. \nAmerica needs perspective. \nBill Clinton messed around with a fat girl. He didn't screw the Marilyn Monroe of the '90s. He just screwed himself. For the rest of his existence his image will come to mind only with a blue Gap dress, not outstanding domestic and foreign policy. \nIn public he will be tormented, harassed and belittled by reporters even when he is on his death bed. And in private he is on a leash, for a time right beside his late dog Buddy, obeying every command of his larger-than-life powerhouse of a wife Hillary.\nSo, America, let's give the guy a break. He is no longer in power and now no one is doing his makeup. Infidelity is all around us. We forgive our parents, our friends and our neighbors for acts much worse. If one day Clinton has had enough and is hovering outside on a window ledge, don't kidney punch him to the ground like the media. Give the guy a thumbs-up, a hand and maybe even a second chance because sometimes even old dogs can learn new tricks.