IDs, exhilaration, grief

Her name was Susan. She was thin, pale and 3 months old. She was my livelihood and now she is gone. \nSusan was my fake ID. I gave her a name because she was a vital part of my life to me, almost a sister. Nearly one month ago she was taken -- kidnapped if you will -- and never to be seen again. So kids, I have decided to get over my grief, move on and not let Susan's death be in vain. I've decided to help others learn from my lesson. Susan would have wanted it that way.\nFirst and foremost, never take those (breathing or plastic) for granted. Old or young, we should appreciate the things in our life that make us who we are now, through the good and bad. These things that mean the most should be treated like royalty, for any minute they can slip through our fingers, literally.\nFor me, Susan -- my accomplice -- slipped through my fingers all too unexpectedly. She had traveled from Bloomington to New York City, and had always remained faithful. Yet once the black light of doom was placed upon her, she disappeared, and I can only pray her death was painless.\nSecond, never trust anyone who doesn't have a full set of teeth. I learned this too late and now hindsight truly is 20/20. A few missing teeth are fine from occasion to occasion, but only having six is a sign of danger. These people may be members of cults or perhaps they might check IDs -- whatever their occupation, they are typically good for little in life except biting things the average person can't cut, like random threads on a shirt or cans of soup.\nNext, when you have something in your possession that could be taken away at any second, always use it to its full capability. It's like the phrase, "drive it like you stole it." You have to go crazy, never look back, pedal to the metal, a "Smokey and the Bandit" kind of thing.\nSo when you find a bus pass or a cell phone that may or may not be missing, use all the free minutes and take a bus ride or two.\nFinally, learn your states and their capitals. This may seem like a trivial point, but this knowledge can be used in numerous and different situations. For instance, this knowledge would be incredibly useful if you were to be placed on "College Jeopardy!" Or back when you were playing the capital game in fourth grade. Or perhaps when the bouncer at Bluebird asks you the capital of Michigan, you wouldn't timidly reply "Ann Arbor." Knowing off the top of your head that answer is Lansing and not Ann Arbor will save you time, energy and humiliation later on in life.\nSo maybe these lessons seem petty, or insignificant, or trivial, or whatever to you. Fine, because maybe they are. But I know one thing: never will I let another Susan slip through my fingers and slide out of my life again.\nShe was a fine piece of plastic and will be missed by friends and family, but never forgotten. She taught me the meaning of freedom and then the definition of grieving. She saw things she never should have seen in cold, dark bathroom stalls, but always forgave me in the morning. \nI keep her memory alive with every Natty Light or shot I take in the Villas, because I remember her getting me those Long Islands. I remember her power. And I will have another Susan again.