AIMing for affection

I bet you've checked all of your friends' away messages at least twice today.\nHey, don't get me wrong, I'm one of those people too. But I'm finally starting to acknowledge how sick it is that a certain slice of my life is governed by AOL's supreme accomplishment -- AOL Instant Messenger. Anyone who's felt that lingering necessity for AIM can attest to the fact it is kind of like the mafia. When you try to get out, the damn thing pulls you right back in.\nWhy?\nBecause it's so utterly simple. It has broken down communication into an easy-to-use interface, transcending away messages and profiles from bells and whistles into pseudo-art forms and, yes, almost redefining how we address our lives.\nTake the break up, for example. Before AIM, break ups were followed by lots of shit-talking, listening to Tori Amos and bad poetry. With AIM, the dumpers and dumpees can post away messages and edit profiles that contain shit-talking, Tori Amos lyrics and bad poetry 24 hours a day. And they can change the style, size and color of their fonts and backgrounds to further convey their pain and heartbreak.\nThe downside to something like AIM is it's proving what all the naysayers have said about the Internet from the beginning -- that it sacrifices actual human contact for efficiency. Now that we have sites like Friendster, we don't even have to GO OUT and make friends anymore! And Internet communication has become so streamlined it's now possible to not just communicate swiftly, but even anonymously as well.\nThere's a Web site called Group Hug (grouphug.us) where anyone can post confessions relating to sex, love and even manslaughter. It has a list of criteria that must be met, with every entry being scanned and approved by its staff before it is listed as just a number. Some confessions are downright depressing, others are hilarious.\n"i think i like someone ... but she likes someone else. i feel helpless ...," types entry 597455967.\n"I still suck my thumb. Even after having braces. No one knows ... I hope. I'm 18 now," entry 9593960362 says.\nThe overall themes on Group Hug are guilt, repression and fear. Most of these people sound like they're reaching out, but they sacrifice their faces and their names to do so. Entries span pages about how much they love someone, yet most of them contain variations of the phrases "but they'll never know" or "I won't ever tell them." And the tragedy is that most of them probably will never know because these confessionees will just find empty solace in namelessly pouring their souls out onto a virtual page.\nThese Holden Caufields need to find a better way of expressing their desires.\nOne of the best gifts I ever got was a letter attached to a CD a girl had slid under my door while I was at class. It was short and to the point, not really indulging in anything romantic. But it was special because it was something I could hold and read, and she signed her name on it and I had forgotten how it felt to actually read something like that.\n The art of writing a letter is dead, and the Internet killed it.\nWith the ease of AIM, e-mail and text messaging, there just isn't enough time to scribble out seven pages of sweet nothings and personal revelations by hand anymore. Why relish in your undying devotions and personal struggles when you can easily express them with e-cards and personal profiles?\nSo, if you're still scrounging for a gift idea this Saturday, something as simple as a long personal letter might be your best option (in ADDITION to flowers, cheapskate).\nIt's the most timeless and romantic thing you could do.