Uncle Sam, best man

So your time in college is drawing to a close. You've met your soul mate -- the person you want to spend your life with -- and now you're thinking about tying the knot. Lots of people will be involved in your life at this special time. Your prospective spouse and in-laws, your closest friends, the federal government … the federal government? \nEverybody has been talking about the "sanctity of marriage" lately. Of course, there was the suggested constitutional amendment regarding same-sex marriage, but another proposal, regarding marriage, has slipped by without very much attention. As part of his welfare plan, President George W. Bush wants to put together a five-year, $1.5 billion plan for what amounts to subsidized marriage counseling. Grants would be given to both religious and secular programs counseling couples about marriage. \nDon't worry. I was confused when I heard this, too. Just when you think you understand the differences between the two parties, they go and change everything. Democrats are supposed to enjoy frivolous spending and big government that stays on your case. Republicans are stingy and supposed to prefer teeny, tiny government that stays out of your way. Now Bush wants to throw millions -- excuse me, a billion -- dollars to make love, with a little war on the side. \nIs this a jobs program for thousands of unemployed or displaced marriage counselors? Is there a shortage of marriage counseling in this country? Are churches turning away love-struck couples? "I am sorry, but we're full! Try Saint so-and-so." I don't think so. \nI can almost see how this brilliant plan might have been hatched in some basement office at the White House. "We have a lot of poor people and that's a problem. Single parents tend to be poorer, on average, than the rest of the population. If people get married, and stay married, there would be fewer poor people and therefore fewer parents on public assistance. What makes people stay married? Marriage Counseling! Eureka! Marriage counseling for one and all!" \nAnd so an idea was born.\nAs you can probably tell, I have some misgivings about this program. First of all, I have a hard time imagining what improvements could be made. Churches will offer the service, as they always have. People who want marriage counseling will get marriage counseling. I can't imagine that marriage counseling could be so costly people who wanted it couldn't get it. What's the point in subsidizing it? There is also the whole separation of church and state business. But that's an issue for a different column. \nIt's also incredibly condescending. As part of the president's welfare plan, it is clearly targeted toward poor people. The unfortunate subtext is poor people who want a divorce need to remember they might end up as a burden to society, so they should just grin and bear it. Meanwhile, people who can afford it, can get divorced with impunity. There are probably other, more effective ways of helping single parents escape poverty than marriage counseling. \n But maybe what bothers me more, is the irony of the federal government coming in to "save marriage." How can it hold up marriage as a sacred institution on one hand, and then, on the other hand, pretend bestowing "sanctity" is something a government program could actually accomplish? The fact that it believes the government can throw money at marriage to make it better seems to cheapen the idea -- and it's very un-Republican, too. \nIn a few years we'll get a chance to look back and see how this program worked. Did divorce rates go down? Did marriage rates go up? \nI guess we'll see how much sanctity $1.5 billion can buy.