The little man

There was once a little man Peter. Peter was from New Zealand, also known as the birthplace of the Bushwackers. Peter directed "Dead Alive," a movie which made someone getting murdered by a lawnmower a hilarious sight. Peter also made a little number known as "Meet the Feebles," where he exposed the seedy underworld of puppets -- showing a fly shoot heroin during his Vietnam flashbacks, an elephant slaughtering little animals for food and a crimeboss walrus having loud sex with a cat. The little hairy man named Peter was on his way to becoming a cult hero, being forever enshrined as the king of gory, physical comedy, also known as "splatstick."\nThen he made "The Lord of the Rings."\nIt could have been Steven Spielberg, Robert Zemeckis or James Cameron. All of them had plenty of gold statuettes on their mantles -- proof they were formidable and talented enough for such a task as large and challenging as adapting, arguably, the greatest series of books written in the 20th century.\nBut, no … the project was given to the little man named Peter Jackson.\nI'd like to think it's because he looked like a hobbit.\nI remember my friend Mike seeing a sneak preview of the first "Lord of the Rings" film the night before it was released. I asked him how it was, and he simply said, "Amazing … it has everything. I laughed; I cried; I was scared … it's just huge."\nNo moviegoing experience has ever degenerated me into a state of constant awe like "Lord of the Rings" has and not because of its grand scope and special effects, but for its personality. It would have been easy for someone to make the seven-year project an indulgence in the cinematic bordello, but no. Instead it was treated with care, completely focused on telling a story on an epic scale without its reputation overpowering its accomplishment.\nJackson had no shame shooting for the lowest common denominator in his early work, and he has no shame shooting for the highest one now.\n"The Lord of the Rings" comes to an end Wednesday, and as anxious as I am to see it, I'm also stricken with a bit of sadness. Peter Jackson has accomplished something rare -- maintaining control over something that could have been easily fumbled due to its sheer size, yet it wasn't. And what's even more incredible is it never loses or forces its heart.\nWho could have ever guessed the director who glorified puppet fornication would be responsible for creating this generation's "Star Wars"?\nIt's bizarre someone with such a seedy cinematic past is now in command of something so great, but it's also quite comforting. As we wait for the next grand epic, we now know we don't have to just look toward our indie art-house upstarts for the next big thing, for we can invest just as much hope in the guy who's shooting poop out of a cannon.\nThe little men who are making movies about sorority girls being slaughtered at the hands of serial- killing clowns may just be our future. Sure, you can call them cheap and lowbrow, but they're creative and having a good time. One day, they won't be laughing at all those penis jokes as they attempt to make something they pour their heart into. And neither will we.