Lingerie: function or show?

Women don't wear underwear -- they wear lingerie, I read in The New York Times over Thanksgiving break. The phrase brought on a cringe, but it also made me smile. The word "lingerie" has a tendency to do that sometimes. Sometimes undergarments can make me feel very proud to be a woman.\nThen, there is decorative underwear, which can be a little uncomfortable, the kind I call the "they-go-on-to-come-off undergarments." One of my first major experiences with underwear was when I was about 6 years old. It was cold outside, and I had to wear knitted tights to school. I hated those tights and the way they itched. I couldn't stand the way they would get all twisted after I went to the bathroom. So I tried to pull them up. Then I thought, "What about my first ornate push-up bra and panty set?" Oh, how I loved them. \nIt poses the question: is lingerie for function or for show? \nLingerie has always been my favorite part of the holiday season. It's pretty, it's on sale, and it can warm up a bedroom faster than any furnace. Can we say, "I like the way you move," in lace? Women love lingerie; it embodies everything feminine. We love the shiny satin colors, the embroidered pink thong, the red push-up bra that gives the illusion of very expensive implants. \nWe love watching the Victoria's Secret runway show, looking at the decorative undergarments, and thinking, "Yeah right." \nLingerie is for show, and let's face it; we like to keep the playground pretty. It is the perfect gift for a man or woman. If it's your boyfriend's birthday, you can buy lingerie for yourself, and tell him it's for him, that way you both benefit. \nStill lingerie is also functional, but some unanswered questions exist regarding its purpose. For instance, is it white or black lingerie under white clothing? A sales associate at the Victoria's Secret store in College Mall said the best choice is nude lingerie because it obscures the underwear. \nOf course, there are some women who don't waste time on pantyhose and go with the thigh-highs. Thigh-highs can be a very good choice because they are sexy and functional. \nAnother ambiguous question is whether you wear panties or no panties with pantyhose.\nOne day in my Survey of the Fashion Industry class, my teacher asked this question and the entire class was in an uproar. One half of us said no panties, and the other half said panties. The question still goes unanswered. The Victoria's Secret sales associate said it was a personal preference. \nWhat about the nagging question from Grandma, "Do you have on a slip?" \nOnly wear a slip when the dress is shear enough to see through it. But when going for a see-through look, forget the camisole or slip and get a leopard-print bra, or don't wear any undergarments.\nWhile women love to adorn themselves in pretty lace and mesh, we also appreciate being able to take a breath without getting a wedgie. So if you are looking for a variety of lingerie try La Perla, Chantelle, Felina for show and comfort. Try Joe Boxer and St. Eve. for comfort, and Victoria's Secret for bringing the heat. \nUltimately, lingerie is for women. It helps us feel and look good. According to MSN, one of writer Anna Johnson's ways to feel sexy in five minutes is to wear special-occasion lingerie every day. Additions to lingerie are also sexy -- such as perfume, flowers, heels and pillows. \nSometimes, it can be a God-send to have an embroidered push-up bra, silk nylons and tummy control underwear. But it is also just as nice to have boy-cut panties, a seamless bra, a slip and thigh highs you can prance around your apartment in, while sipping eggnog and reading the year ahead astrology guide in Cosmo. \nRemember, lingerie is nice, but like a friend once told me: everything needs air, and Lady Marmalade needs air, too.