A writer's Big Apple slice

Writers -- and ask almost any of us, we'll confirm this -- like to travel because it gives us an excuse to enjoy ourselves while simultaneously creating something to write about. That's why a few weeks ago, when asked if I'd like to travel to New York City, as a writer, I had two responses:\nResponse 1: Holy [comical series of compound bad words]! I've never been to New York! I'd love to go!\nResponse 2: I wonder, as a writer, will "The City That Never Sleeps," one of the largest cities in the world, provide a modicum of anything for me to write about?\nThe second response, call it my writer's intuition if you want, is the one that separates me from most people, inasmuch as it clearly makes me a moron. \nOf course New York City would give me something to write about, because it has given people something to write about for, literally, centuries. As a student of history, you might recall in 1626, when the Dutch purchased the island of Manhattan from the Indians for $24 and consequently lost the receipt, settler Peter Minuit wrote these famous words in a letter back home: "I mean seriously, these cab drivers are nuts."\nAnd there's the rub. People have been writing and joking about "The City" (as any respectable New Englander calls it) for such a long time. Critics have said that writing about New York is as close as a writer can get to "literary necrophilia." I just happen to disagree, and think these so-called critics are throwing around the word "necrophilia" just a bit too casually.\nSure, there's probably an anecdote about New York for every person living there (one of my favorites: "New York is the city you move to so you can make enough money to move away"). Countless television shows and movies have been set in New York, and fortunately none of the characters seem as disgusted with tourists as actual New Yorkers.\nWriters tend to point out that Times Square is more lit at night by advertisements than it is at day by the sun. And apparently there seem to be no traffic laws in Manhattan, so a driver can do anything he wants as long as he can justify it by honking his car horn.\nThese are the points that prompt critics to create sexually perverse metaphors, which makes agreeing with these critics very awkward if you usually agree with, say, normal people. They expect anything written about New York to have mind-boggling insight that will shake, rattle and roll the literary world. \nAnd New York sometimes just isn't like that. It's a visceral city. There's this New York aura that flows into its visitors. When you visit New York, there's this awe you feel as you stand there on the sidewalk, and the subsequent pain you incur when New Yorkers run over you for being stupid enough to stand on a sidewalk. ("Don't stop moving! It shows weakness," the New York Tourism Bureau should warn.)\nSimply put, New York is the city that set the standard for every city, and you've probably seen, felt or heard the influence of New York.\nLook for local slices of the Big Apple here at IU. Outside of Indiana's populous neighbors (Illinois, Ohio, and Michigan), this year New York sent more students to the University than any other state. And New York state would have actually sent more students than Michigan, had this not been an exceptional year for the enrollment of mutant lake-creatures.