Let's call the whole thing off

Current legislation in Ontario regarding legalization of gay marriage, coupled with the recent U.S. Supreme Court decision Lawrence and Garner vs. Texas, has mobilized certain conservative factions against what they believe will be the inevitable next step of legally sanctioned gay marriage in the United States. The uproar revolves around the familiar theme of destroying nuclear families and mocking traditional marriage.\nBut what is the current state of traditional marriage itself? \nMarriage is one of the oldest and most venerable institutions in the world, common to every culture but one (the Moso of China). Yet its recent image in the U.S. has been less than glorious. During the 1990s, a slew of articles appeared in women's magazines bewailing the fact that women could not find husbands and offering advice on finding one. Feminists furiously retorted that the reason women are waiting longer to get married is because they have become more choosy and tend to place greater importance on getting their life on track than finding a husband. Many people are postponing marriages, and the institution itself has been mocked and dissected in a myriad of shows ("Sex and the City") and movies ("Bridget Jones' Diary"). Friendly cohabitation is becoming the accepted norm, and bachelor(ette) parties frequently serve as a last ditch effort to talk a best friend out of the worst mistake of his or her life. \nThose who do get married are not off the hook either. US News and World Report and The Atlantic Monthly run salient articles on sexless marriages. Single-parent families are no longer an anomaly but an accepted reality. Divorce rates fluctuate between one out of three and one out of every two marriages splitting up: 'til death or irreconcilable differences do us part. In utero fertilization and recent developments in cloning technology spur outbursts of fear that marriage and standard families will soon be obsolete. \nThis is not a diatribe against marriage. It is simply a sober assessment that we, as a society, are more cynical towards wedlock than we used to be. Think of the immortal words of Queen Victoria to her marrying daughter. "My dear," she said, "marriage is no amusement, but a solemn act, and generally a sad one."\nPerhaps the only true believers left in the bliss of matrimony are those grandparents who like to take every family gathering as an opportunity to discreetly -- or bluntly -- ask when we intend to commit ourselves, body and soul, to one person for the rest of our lives.\nSuddenly, there is a ray of hope for this ancient tradition. People want to get married. They want to get married so badly, in fact, that they write amicus curae briefs to the court, file lawsuits and go to the Caymans or Canada to legally get wed. Not satisfied with simply shacking up together or performing civil unions on the beach, they want legal recognition of their commitment. After the law was passed in Ontario, one couple literally ran to the courthouse. In our cynical times, this is a magnificent development. Instead of trying to stonewall progress, critics of gay marriage should be jumping up and down, clapping their hands and saying "goody-goody." \nThe fact that someone is willing to fight for their right to say "in sickness and in health" might be the shot in the arm that modern marriage needs. \nBesides, misery loves company. If America's straight population is so despondent in their matrimonial state, equal rights would dictate that we cannot selfishly keep this misery to ourselves. We should allow our gay counterparts to partake in it, so they can experience first-hand what everyone is complaining about.