Life with Saeed

"I now inform you that you are too far from reality."\nThese are the last known words uttered by the now jobless Iraqi Minister of Information Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf. He has since disappeared, and is believed to be hiding while creating a resume for Enron and R.J. Reynolds.\nEither that or he has taken an invisibility potion along with the rest of the Iraqi army and is biding his time until they are ready to mercilessly slaughter the American sheep demons that are now pretending to control Baghdad.\nWherever he is, I'm sure Saeed al-Sahaf is thrilled to know that the American public has embraced him. He is quickly approaching cult status through late night shows and www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com, a site that is receiving over 500,000 hits a day.\nOn the Web site, fans can purchase such items as a coffee mug that says "No American will ever pour coffee in this mug. Never!" and a BBQ apron with "God will roast their stomachs in hell" written on it.\nI can't seem to figure this out.\n"My feelings -- as usual -- we will slaughter them all."\nThis is a man who said his natural state of feelings consists of slaughtering all Americans. Saeed Al-Sahaf wakes up and the first thought that pops into his head is, "I wonder how many American devil dogs will be massacred today?" Followed quickly by "Maybe I should go with decaf for a change."\nAnd yet, the American public is falling drunken junkie head over curse-ridden heels for this man who was the voice of a regime so corrupt and evil that the U.S. government resorted to force. It's like exalting Hitler's spokesperson.\n"We are not afraid of the Americans. Allah has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid," (dramatic pause) "and they are condemned."\nWhether he's right on these two things is up in the American-controlled air, but the war has only increased our conceit. Saeed Al-Sahaf is like a Chihuahua with a vicious growl. We laugh at the bravado, pat him on his head and then treat him to Taco Bell. The reason we can laugh so easily at him is because we see no reason to fear him or the regime he worked for.\nAnd he deserves to be laughed at. His ridiculous statements were a last-ditch ploy to garner public support for a regime that regularly tortures its public. Only a desperate man would say things like "Our initial assessment is that they will all die."\nBut I don't believe that we, American infidels, should call Saeed al-Sahaf an innocent and hilarious bystander. He was an Iraqi propaganda machine who unwittingly provided entertainment to the American public as well. While we laugh, we should remember that this man was an important member of the cruel Iraqi government. It takes more than a smirk and a twinkle in the eye to gain favor with Saddam.\n"The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!"\nOur press is guilty of the same things we laugh at Saeed al-Sahaf about. I triple-guarantee you that Fox News could have easily filled Saeed al-Sahaf's shoe. (The other one was taken off to beat Americans with). It's not hard to imagine Geraldo Riviera saying something to the extent of "The Iraqis launched 20 Scuds at us, but we destroyed them using a magnifying glass and a flashlight. America rules!"\nWe all seem to be pretty far from reality during this war and I hope the trend ceases. One of these days we may not be able to laugh at war so easily.