Gamble now, sue later

We live in a great country where the "American Dream" is alive and well. That is if your version of the "American Dream" is suing someone for a ridiculous amount of money in order to help you cope with mental anguish. \nWe all hear horror stories about lunatics suing the government, tobacco companies and fast food chains so they can make a quick buck. Overweight because you ate too many Big Macs? Here's a million dollars, fatty. Don't like the idea of sitting next to an ugly person on a plane? For your embarrassment, here's $9,500. You've lost all your money gambling it away on a riverboat casino? Here's some more money that will soon be lost at the same casino because you're addicted to gambling.\nSadly, none of those examples are made up, and the last one is the newest in a long history of ridiculous lawsuits; we can thank David Williams for putting Indiana on the great list of "States sued by morons."\nWilliams, a former state auditor here in Indiana, is suing an Evansville riverboat casino because over the course of three years he lost $175,000, mostly by putting a credit card-like "Fun Card" into a slot machine. He says that the casino should have stopped him because they should have realized he was a gambling addict. The casino actually banned him once; he kept sneaking back in.\nSo is the casino responsible in any way for Williams to sit down and lose his money? No, not one bit. Dave's a big boy at 53, and though he is addicted to gambling, there is no way a casino should be liable for people losing their money. It's a casino. Its one purpose is to take your money. \nIf this lawsuit goes through, our whole idea of immoral behavior will be changed. Casinos, bookies, drug dealers, and prostitutes will not be spared. Don't be afraid to gamble your child's college fund away -- if you lose it all, just sue. If your nasty crack habit leads you down a road of despair, just sue your dealer for providing you with it. It will even come so far as someone being unhappy with hooker-sex, and turning around and asking the judge for a refund. \nThis lawsuit comes just a few weeks after a couple of fat girls asked for millions of dollars from McDonald's because their obese thighs couldn't stay away from a 20-piece order of McNuggets. Luckily that case was thrown out, and there are even talks about creating a law that will ban all obesity-related lawsuits. Finally the legislature is doing something about these idiotic lawsuits, but that isn't enough.\n I feel like there should be some sort of punishment for wasting the courts' valuable time. If someone has a legitimate lawsuit and wins, great for them, but too many people are suing without any risk. \n What happens if a person sues the Department of Corrections because as a prisoner, who thinks he is a vampire, he is not being provided with enough blood to adequately fulfill his blood-drinking quota to still take part in the Druidic vampire religion? (This is a real case in Utah by the way.) Nothing, he just doesn't get the money. Shouldn't there be some sort of "catch" if you lose? Like if Williams loses his gambling lawsuit he would then be fined the amount he was asking for. And if the vampire loses he has to stop wearing fangs and start dressing like a girl. This way people would think about their lawsuits before actually hiring a lawyer. There is nothing to stop people from doing stupid acts and then getting a big pay-off for it. We have to put an end to all the coffee-spillers, the fat strawberry shake drinkers and the vampire-prisoners before it's too late.